death

"They deserve it." -Asteroid on its way to Earth

[via EatLiver]

Here's the problem with death: After you die, you can no longer engage in sexual activity, so people can't tell if you're straight or gay.

Imagine this scenario: Hundreds of years from now, someone digs up your grave.  How will they be able to tell that you were gay?

"I engraved 'Here lies the body of a gay man' on my tombstone," you might say.  Ah, but what if your tombstone has been destroyed or gone missing?

"Well, I have a number of homosexual-themed tattoos," you may counter.  Ah, but as skin decomposes, tattoos will eventually disappear.

You fumble desperately, "Well, what if I was buried with the corpse of another man?" Well, I respond, what if you two were just really close friends?

This discussion underscores why any gay man or woman really should invest in a gay coffin.  That way future generations looking to disturb your holy burial site will always know the most important thing about you: that you were gay.

So, luckily, I bring all this up because there's a store in Germany that's got you covered.  Orange UK reports:

The caskets feature homoerotic artwork on the outside and come with a series of tastefully luxurious plush designer interiors.

Well, that sounds…  insane.  What day is April Fools' Day in Germany?

[via The Daily What]

I'm going to be spending my weekend wondering why this is a real thing.

Think you can explain it? Tell us in the comments.

Want to extend your weekend? Check out previous WTFridays!

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you do it topless
So that I can I see your pecs
Gravedigger

[via Julia Segel]

When it was announced earlier this week that plastic surgeon to the stars Dr. Frank Ryan — best know for reconstructing Heidi Montag from the ground up — died in a car accident, it seemed like the world wasn't quite sure how to respond.  Sure, it's sad when someone passes, but this story wasn't filled with much Hollywood intrigue: he drove his car off a cliff… while sober.

But today, things are getting more interesting.  People reports the following:

"[Dr. Frank's ex-girlfriend Charmaine Blake] says Ryan's family was told by investigators that…Tweeting caused the wreck on Monday."

If that's true, this case would mark the first celebrity death by tweeting.

It's just the break every middle school principal has been waiting for: a horror story on the dangers of tweeting.

Think using Twitter is just a fun hobby?  You could be wrong… Dead wrong.

I could be good at this fear-mongering thing…

[via Dlisted]

Upward Bound Senior Villa is an old folks' home down the street from my apartment. Every time I drive by it I get a kick out of the name.

I wonder what other ideas they threw out before settling on "Upward Bound".

Nursing Home Namer 1: "What should we name this place?"
Nursing Home Namer 2: "Hmm. We're All Dying Here Senior Villa?"
Nursing Home Namer 1: "No. Too morbid."
Nursing Home Namer 2: "Foot In The Grave Senior Villa?"
Nursing Home Namer 1: "Not poetic enough."
Nursing Home Namer 2: "Almost Underground Senior Villa?"
Nursing Home Namer 1: "That's pretty good."
Nursing Home Namer 2: "Ooh! What about Upward Bound Senior Villa?"
Nursing Home Namer 1: "Perfect! Just the right amount of euphemism."

Yesterday, PopEater.com broke the news that the Associated Press, the world's largest wire news service, has been updating Lindsay Lohan's obituary just in case they suddenly have to scramble to break the news.  This just days after white powder was seen exploding out of her shoes (as seen above).

My big question is, What the hell has to be updated?

She hasn't had a theatrical movie release since 2007.  Her lifestyle hasn't really changed recently.  There's been nothing new on the lesbian front in a long time.

I think the headline "Child-Star-Turned-Crazy-Addict Dies" still works as well today as it would have three years ago.

I bet you feel real bad now, don't you.

Find something better to do with your time, weirdo.

Everyone is lamenting the death of the RickRoll!

Mashable reports that "if you want to use the original Rickroll video…you?ll be greeted by an ugly message: This video has been removed due to terms of use violation."

Well, even though the RickRoll is dead, here is something else that is totally awesome for you to check out!!!

[image via Videogum]

Brad L. Graham (seen above) — the man who is credited with first coining the term "blogosphere" (as can supposedly be found here) — has passed away at the age of 41.

But don't worry…  He'll always live on… In the blogosphere.

That is, until computer technology becomes obsolete and blogs are disregarded.  Then he'll die a second, more final death.

Something to look forward to.

[via The Daily What]