disease

I prefer Vegas. Where my odds of getting Chlamydia are equal to my odds of winning twenty-five cents at a slot machine.

[via The Clearly Dope]

"See, I told you, honey.  I didn't get chlamydia by cheating on you.  I got it through the air.  Just like this photograph of a painted sign on a high school bulletin board I found on the Internet says you can get it!"

[via I Am Bored]

This is one of those long-term commitment clubs that's impossible to get out of.

How many times do I have to unsubscribe from your email list!?!?

[thanks Brittany]

Most websites concerning a health problem are either asking for money or helping people without health insurance diagnose themselves through a series of multiple choice questions.  But this site is different. This guy wants someone to give him swine flu so he can prove how stupid it is. Doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?

He's got some rules — you have to fly him out first class between September 7-22 before you cough in his face and infect him — but that can't be too hard.  Either this guy is fearless, or he loves flying first class.  If I had swine flu I'd do it. But alas, I'm relatively healthy outside of my dork-related carpal tunnel problem.

There's got to be a wealthy person out there who feels the need to pass on swine flu to the less fortunate part of the population, right?  It seems like a great idea.  That's why we're trying to help him too.

Someone help give him swine flu!!!