donations

With your generosity this season, you've donated a giant snow penis.

Thank you!

[via The HD]

Wikipedia saves lives.

Or at least according to the note the above anonymous person left with his donation to the online encyclopedia: "I came here to find out about cyanide to kill myself…which led to other articles making me forget about suicide."

Just think: If he had looked up "cyanide" in the Encyclopedia Britannica, he'd be dead by now.

Which supports my long-standing theory: The Encyclopedia Britannica has led to countless deaths.

[via Reddit]

For the past few weeks, Wikipedia has been trying to raise money via user donations.  When did Wikipedia turn into a deadbeat boyfriend?

"Now it needs you" …to give it money.

"Come on, baby.  Remember how I was there for you?  I helped put you through college.  If it weren't for me, you wouldn't of had the resume to get your job at the Bank of America.  So now, I come, asking for money this once, and suddenly you don't want to help me out?  You wouldn't be makin' that money at all if it weren't for me!"

Then you ask Wikipedia what he needs the money for.  "I need a lotta space," he responds.

And then you're like, Why don't you earn your own money?

And Wikipedia's all like, "I ain't gonna sell out!  I'm an artist!  I got street cred!!"

F' you, Wikipedia!  You ain't freeloading off my dime anymore!  Go sell yourself on the street for all I care.  Get some goddamn advertising!

No, no, I didn't mean it, Wikipedia.  I love you.  Here's a couple bucks.  You stay just the way you are.

I mean, where else can I find historically-suspect information about Rutherford B. Hayes?  Nowhere.  You're one of a kind.