douchebag

This would be better if he was touching his junk the whole time.

[via I am Bored]

I got you a t-shirt.

[via EatLiver]

Rite Aid really is a one-stop shop. You can buy your douche, on sale if you're a Rewards Card holder, then you can walk a few more steps and start planning a family with him.

Remember, douches are non-refundable. But they can be exchanged for other douches within 90 days!

[via BWE]

Katherine Heigl is a douchebag-magnet. In every formulaic film she does, she falls in love with one. That's her thing.

So Nerve.com went ahead and made a quick "no-fail guide to dating Hollywood's rom-com über-frau". It's easy. Just be an ass.

And in ninety minutes or less, you've got the gal.

I don't know why anyone would want to win over Katherine Heigl though. Eeek.

But what do I know? I'm a silly, naive girl. Is there a guide to winning Mel Gibson? He seems like a catch.

The Douchebag Name Generator pretty much speaks for itself. You give it some facts and opinions and it provides you with a name. It has all the advanced functionality of our Porn Spoiler Database.

Did you try it? I guess you don't really have to add a badge to your profile.

Ok, so this article entitled "11 Quotes That Prove Kanye [West] Is A Douchebag" was posted on DailyFill back in May, but the image seems to have gained some fresh legs recently, and, let's be honest, it's never too late to point out how big of a d-bag Kanye "I-Should-Have-Stopped-After-Talib-Kweli's-Quality-Album" West is.

For this one specifically, I found myself wondering if he realizes those people are dead?  I did some quick research: Kanye is 32 — [Thank god I didn't know that off the top of my head.] — but much like Jim and Kurt, it appears Kanye's best work was done before he turned 27 and he's just been laying around rotting ever since.

I didn't independently verify any of the quotes featured in this article, but when it comes to Kanye, I always take the Internet's word at face value.