Tosh.0 Blog

Lindsay Lohan: Do Not Pass Go

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | July 7, 2010 at 11:00AM

Nothing says you're going to jail quite like an animated GIF featuring snapshots from your court hearing morphing into similar poses from the poster of one of your many feature films.

We've all been there!  Am I right!?

Coming from someone who's been to jail for a wide range of charges from drunk in public all the way to disorderly conduct, I can safely tell Lindsay… jail isn't that bad.

Just start eating Swanson frozen dinners and sleeping with the light on now in the comfort of your own home so that when you arrive in your posh Santa Monica jailhouse, these will be two less things you have to adapt to.

You can also consider getting in on the whole "wearing orange" thing beforehand, but — as a woman who's known for loving fashion — changing to a unique set of clothes shouldn't be that difficult.

Oh, also — and this is very important — at some point you'll probably be on garbage detail and you'll realize that you could just make a break for it and the guards would be none the wiser…

Don't make a break for it!  They'll find you, and then you'll just have to go back to jail.

Get it over with now and move on with your life.  Seriously.  This is the way to do it.

Why do I think Lindsay is probably going to make a break for it?  Can we make sure Al Cowlings is nowhere near Santa Monica while she's doing her time?

[via The Daily What]