drinking

"If the city doesn't want us to drink from open containers, why do they have a football team?"

[via Izismile]

"This beer's a little warm.  Is anyone else's beer a little warm?"

[via theCHIVE]

Facebook update: "Told myself I would stop drinking, that this was the last straw."

We received over 1,300 comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

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Country superstar Toby Keith's new video is for a song called "Red Solo Cup."  And it's exactly what you think it is: a drinking song dedicated to the kegger mainstay.

But where are the blue and white cups, Toby?  I thought you were patriotic!  You goin' commie red on us now??

Turns out when it comes to his cup color, Keith's a real turncoat.  I bet it's filled with Heineken.

Regardless, if you're in college, prepare yourself for hearing a lot of Toby Keith this semester.  Not sure if it's a step up or a step down from Foster the People.

[via The Daily What]

"First thing to buy with my unemployment check: a pack of straws."

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Player #1: "Give me B-12."

Player #2: "There's no B-12 on the board."

Player #1: "No, I need a B-12 shot.  Like the vitamins.  For my alcoholism."

[via Izismile]

She's getting close to her goal of being able to drink a beer while giving two handjobs at the same time.

[via IAB]

"Dude, if she hadn't of climbed up and slept on top of the refrigerator I think I totally would have had a chance with her."

Full House: The cause of and solution to all my drinking.

[via The Clearly Dope]

Well, at least he quit smoking.

[via Reddit]