evolution

This is your face.

This is your face on drugs.

[via reddit]

Here are all 51 Miss USA contestants answering the question: "Should evolution be taught in schools?"

"I definitely think evolution should be taught in schools because evolution is science and science has done a lot of amazing things like give people the Internet so they can see how stupid my opinions are."

[via The Daily What]

Wait a minute…  If that's how evolution works, why isn't the fish wearing a wifebeater?

[via Tosh.0 iPhone App submission]

Of course giraffes are heartless creatures!  Don't you remember the fighting giraffes video we had on the show?

This person should have cited his answer as Tosh.0.  Probably would have gotten extra-credit.

[via Certified Bullshit Technician]

Or — Why are their eyes in the right place FOR THE HOLES IN THEIR FUR?

No matter how you ask it, the coincidence is puzzling. Leave your explanations for this evolution puzzle in the comments.

Remember the final scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey where the monolith shoots the dude so far into outer space he becomes a baby again?  (Or something like that… I didn't drink enough of Kubrick's mushroom tea to really understand exactly what was going on.)

Well, the below video entitled "Open a Banana Like A Monkey" [sic - I'm not sure why only one "A" deserves to be capitalized] gave me one of those moments — where evolution has taken us so far that a YouTube video is once again able to teach us the primal traditions of our monkey ancestors.

However, if you don't believe in evolution, I'm preparing a response video entitled "Open a Banana Like A Catholic" where I stare at a banana praying for it to open before determining it's too phalic for my tastes and hide it in my cupboard so I don't have to think about it anymore.

[via Reddit]