fail

She isn't telling us why men make more than women, she's showing us.

[via Daily of the Day, previously: Miss Teen South Carolina]

I've seen wider things (people) in Wal-Mart aisles.

[via Acid Cow]

"It's fine, we'll absorb the impact with our brittle bones and love handles."

[via Imgur]

No lifeguard on duty. Feel free to drown your kids.

[via Videogum]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• 13 epic webcam fails. Sexy and stupid. BINGO!
• Alien and Predator are friends. I hope they share cotton candy after.
• An amazing people compilation! One day, not soon, I'll be in it.
• The best gamer photos ever. SWAG stands for Serious Warcrafters Avoiding Girls, right?
• Skrillex getting hit in the face by the stage. Came outta nowhere.
• Father's Day gift ideas. Can't I just buy him a beer?
• Chick with a very small waist is absolutely terrifying.
• Ralph the boxer chilling in his chair. Porn on the TV, blunt in his paw, I assume.
• 23 autocorrect fails. When I write "circus" it changes to "virus". Not cool.
• And the 22 hottest Jennifer Lawrence photos ever. Katniss be lookin' fine as hell.

[still via YouTube]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The Will and Kate FaceSwap that conquers all other Will and Kate FaceSwaps.
• Here's Miley Cyrus twerking on stage with Juicy J. Liam must be thrilled.
• A crow that thinks he's a rooster. Stupid crow! You're a crow!
• Boob stress balls are definitely appropriate for work.
• The German Snuff Championships yield some of the silliest tobacco-in-nose photos ever.
• Breast milk flavored lollipops better be just for babies.
• A bear trying to drive a truck. Haven't you been to a circus? They can do stuff like that.
• Hot girls' titties! It's like a boob Christmas in the links today.
• A man broke into someone's home and demanded $3. He obviously REALLY wanted to buy a Vitamin Water.
• 10 unfortunate spelling mistaykes. See what I did there?
• A classic rope swing fail. Chick just face plants the shit out of that ground.
• And a baby thinks his dad's mole is a nipple. Because ew.

[photo via Buzzfeed]

Looks like you guys are going to have to blue each other.

[via Reddit]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Froggy Fresh has a new track called Dunked On. He'd make a good point guard. 
• Here's an education video on women from 1959. Fuckin' Myrtle, you dumb bitch.
• Club Kid! I bet he LOVES Calvin Harris.
• A chick let the Powerball winner cut her in line when they bought tickets. Oh no you di'int.
• Weird McDonalds items from other countries. The only thing better than sweet tea is a McBeer.
• Your daily dose of hot girls! Since I know you aren't around them in real life.
• A little girl gave herself a haircut. It's no worse than anything Lena Dunham has rocked.
• Classic fence fail. The stuff dreams are made of.
• A husky on the baseball field! How many dog jokes can the announcers bark out?
• A woman had $500 worth of sex toys stolen from her car. Also, is kinda cute.
• And here's a deer just raging through a taco restaurant. Looks like me on a Saturday night.

[still via YouTube]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The Anna Nicole Smith Lifetime movie has a trailer. The photo above is a still from it. 
• A man vs a water cannon. Spoiler Alert: water cannon wins.
• Proof of aliens. Okay maybe not proof. I'm not sure. I don't know what they're saying.
• A pastor says it's a sin to drink Starbucks. A sin on your wallet AMIRIGHT?!
• Turtle tank tops! I think they'll need turtle trucker hats next.
• Tan lines on chicks. Mmm I bet they smell like coconut oil.
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is pregnant. The world yawns.
• A baseball nutshot. Holy balls! That ball hit him in the balls!
• And a town that mails you your dog's poop if you don't pick it up. What's that cost in postage?

[photo via YouTube]

Wait 'til they start potty training her. Saran wrap. On. The seat.

[via College Humor]