fat

They can't all be Michael Keaton.

[via Oddee]

"I'm looking for something that will make my back cleavage look as good as my front cleavage.  I'm C cups on both sides."

[via I Am Bored]

He might run over your foot.

[via I Am Bored]

Everything is a chair when you can't walk a block without stopping.

[via WorldWideInterweb]

I think it was an inside job.

[via I Am Bored]

You know you're stylin' when your ass crack is part of your outfit.

[via WWI]

Just because your sense of self-awareness stopped growing doesn't mean your ass did too.

Buy some new shorts.

[via IAB]

This is for all you Mad Men fans out there. Or for anyone who hates January Jones. Which, judging by this plotline, seems to be everyone who writes for Mad Men.

[via BWE]

"I don't see what the problem is?  I can still fit my arm through the window, can't I??"

[via IAB]

Then someone loaned her a dictionary.

[via y0uraveragemuggle]