feet

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

Ladies and gentlemen, the world's first human M.C. Escher painting.

[via The Chive]

What, you've never heard the phrase, "right shoe on your foot, left shoe in your pants"?

[via Poorly Dressed]

Tuesday on an ALL NEW episode of Tosh.0, Miss Twinkle Toes herself gets a Cewebrity Profile.

Tune in to Tosh Tuesdays at ten!

Lucky bitch! That guy is so hard to get ahold of.

If you'd like to read more from this writer, or if you're trying to figure out how the hell to tell your parents you're a hooker, look no further!

[via Jezebel]

Dancing in your apartment alone never seemed so a-little-less-sad!

[via The Chive]

'Cause everyone's jizzing into socks and putting condoms on their feet.

[via Uber Humor]

For when you want your vodka to taste more like feet.

[via izismile]

I never thought it was possible that taking off a pair of Crocs could make someone look worse.

[via Reddit]

This little piggy should have stayed home.

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by John DiCarlo.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.