fetus

"I want a dark chocolate one!"-Angelina Jolie

[via Happy Place]

"It's just unprotected sex with a trucker. What's the worst that could happen??"

[via Failblog]

Halloween: the best time of the year to be severely unemployed.

[via HappyPlace]

Somebody should have aborted this idea.

[via Reddit, Buzzfeed]

A fifth grader reacts to seeing pictures of a fetus in utero during a sex ed presentation.

Nobody tell him how it gets out of there.

[via TheDW]

Kickbee — the Twittering Fetal Activity Monitor — is a device pregnant women can wear around the waist that senses vibrations in the womb.  If a "kick" is detected, it automatically posts that information to a Twitter account with a generalized, somewhat inane message such as "I kicked Mommy!"

Christ.  So now all those self-absorbed, egomaniacal pregnant women who act like they're about to be the first human being to ever give birth can annoy the hell out of their friends and family all day wherever they are anywhere in the world with their mindless baby babble and hormone-driven cries for attention.

But watch the above promotional video: I can't even begin to describe how many things are wrong with it.  For instance, at the 30 second mark when Daddy checks his iPhone for the "baby's" latest tweet, look at the phone: There's a picture of a baby on there.

Who's baby is that?  It's not his: His baby hasn't been born yet.  Is it a picture of what they expect their baby to look like?  Or just some random baby 'cause he's a baby?  That doesn't seem right.

But the video isn't even realistic: A smiling father getting constant fetus tweets?  You know what he's thinking…  When baby tweets: "I kicked Mommy!" Daddy is thinking, I should have kicked Mommy too…  down a flight of stairs.  Then I wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit.

What a jerk?!  …but can you really blame him??

We've posted before on Cake Wrecks, which has successfully filled two years worth of blog content exclusively with cake fails. Their latest: "A Womb with a View." It's a post dedicated to sonograms printed on to cakes.

Guest: "Excuse me, can I have a slice with a little touch of fetus on it, please?"