films

The theory of this video (as listed in its description) is thus:

"Everyone knows that the greatest and most iconic contribution to Cinema is Tom Selleck's Moustache.  So great is it that there isn't a single film that would not be improved by the inclusion of Tom Selleck's Moustache.  As proof I present this montage."

But I disagree.  What really makes this montage so amazing is the Magnum P.I. theme.  So great is it that there isn't a single montage that would not be improved by the inclusion of the Magnum P.I. theme.

Want proof?  Try watching the video with the sound off.

See what I mean?  It's boring as shit.  Just like everything Tom Selleck has ever been in besides Magnum P.I.

Thus proving a larger theory: Tom Selleck's mustache is the most overrated thing in cinema history.  That mustache has been riding a wave of success based off a theme song for 30 years.

Ha.  Mustache ride.

[via Blame It on the Voices]

The end of the movie The Human Centipede left a lot of questions unanswered such as "What is wrong with me for having watched that?" and "How am I supposed to live with myself from now on?"

Well, luckily, The Human Centipede 2: (Full Sequence) is scheduled to arrive in American theaters on October 7th to help clear things up.

The trailer above is for the Australian version (Spring down under = Fall here) where the film is being shown unedited.  The movie required a few cuts to pass the censors here in the States and has been banned entirely in the UK which I can only assume means Queen Elizabeth watched it and was not a fan.

Why all the fuss?  Among other things, the sequel reportedly includes a new, super-long 12-person centipede and, of course, sandpaper masturbation.

Spoiler alert: If you're excited about this movie, you have issues.  Serious issues.

[via The Daily What]

If you can't get excited about a documentary about the history of bricks in St. Louis, what can you get excited about?

They scored all the big interviews…

• Some dorky guy from your high school social studies class!
• A part-time instructor at the local community college!
• That woman who feels cultured because she used to live in Kansas City!
• The weird old dude who is creepily gay for St. Louis bricks!
• And a black guy who knows a liiiiittle too much about brick stealing!

But if you want to see it, only the trailer is available online.  The film itself doesn't debut until the St. Louis Filmmakers Showcase in August.

So what am I doing sitting here?  I gotta start stealing enough St. Louis brick to buy me a ticket!

[via Neatorama]

When I asked you to pick up a 6 hour porno this is not what I had in mind.

We received over two thousand comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

After much deliberation, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Scott Cress.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Check back Monday at 4pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Next we watch my grandparents' sex tape.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

On a mobile device? Go here.

Buzzfeed has declared All About Steve, the romantic comedy staring Sandra Bullock that opens in theaters this weekend, the "worst movie of the year," pointing to the films 0% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Now, I love Rotten Tomatoes: It's my go to site for aggregate movie reviews.  However, though its black-or-white, either Fresh or Rotten, rating system has a history of working in the movie biz (just see Siskel & Ebert's thumbs up or thumbs down), sometimes it helps to get a little more info.

So I went over to Metacritic, whose aggregate ratings are on a scale of 0 – 100.  Right now, All About Steve is clocking in with a slightly more respectable rating of 13.  That number still puts it above 2009 stinkers The Trouble with Romance (11) and Miss March (7).

The moral of the story: Even with all the latest technology, there is no 100% effective way for a website to officially determine the worst movie of the year.  For instance, Metcritic declares the worst movie they've ever reviewed is Bio-Dome, which received a whopping score of a "1."

Ha.  Everyone knows Bio-Dome is, in fact, a classic.  Buuuuuuddy.