fixed

Who wants to be a rock god?  What year is it?  1994?

Why don't you ask Siri where to get bath salts and a copy of Reason so you can make terrible dubstep music like a normal kid.

"Add Drugburn spelled with an upside-down number 6 to my list of DJ names."

[via The High Definite]

Remember last time Tom Brady was on a water slide? Hahaha. Good stuff, Internet.

Gisele's husband cannot fucking ride a water slide and look happy at the same time.

[via Chive]

Take the cardboard.

[via FailBlog]

You can also make your own paper towels by duct taping two rolls of toilet paper together. #EvenGeniuser

[P.S.  Bonus points to this guy for using a cutting board.]

[via There, I Fixed It]

I know there's something I was supposed to do this week, but I can't find my calendar.

[via The High Definite]

Last Monday, I asked for your suggestions to fix the oil leak in the Gulf.

This week, the well has stopped leaking.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I'm almost positive BP read one of these amazing suggestions and used it to solve the crisis…

Harry Dixon-Cox suggested, "Duct Tape and WD-40."

Conner Frame thinks we should "put an oil rig over that damn leak."

Johan Hegg said, "make the World of Warcraft kid go down there and shove remotes in it."

jro wrote, "I'm sure Chuck Norris can do something about it."

John Schiro believes, "I'm pretty sure any solution will involve tongue-punching someone's fart-box."

Jay proclaimed, "Legalize marijuana!!!!!  What was the question again?"

Blake The BA Alberger said, "Send John Mayer, he hates everything black."

Derek S suggested we plug the leak with "Demi Moore's pubic hair."

toshing off on your mom pointed out, "I think the Gulf just wanted to be on the new Comedy Central hit show TOSH.0…so it decided the only way to get on TOSH.0 was to PUKE!!"

William Acosta suggests, "Club Soda!"

dummyhead wrote, "Send Tosh down there to tell the leak some jokes. The oil will get so disgusted, it will turn around and flow right back into the earth. Problem solved."

Lisa Harley said, "Plug it up with all your old casual jackets."

Rogie suggested, "Rename the Gulf of Mexico, 'The western Black Sea.'"

Mike Van Amburgh offered, "We can throw my useless Finance MBA in there."

ml11jr said, "Two words, DUDE PILE."

And finally, Wes Danger Gore proclaimed, "Show me more titties!"

I'm not sure which of your suggestions was the one that BP used to save Mother Earth, but I'm sure you can all go ahead and bask in the glory of success.

The planet thanks you!

I think we've all tried to be Mc Guyver at some point- whether it's fixing a leak in the kitchen or patching up a ripped article of clothing- and this site documents it.  There, I Fixed It is a blog that has some pictures of pretty shotty home fixes that can't be that bad if they work, right?  Like this homemade car door lock:

The best part of this whole thing would be if the alarm DID actually still go off if you broke into this thing.  I'm not a criminal by any means, but I'd almost attempt it myself just to see.  Worth the visit to jail?  Maybe.

For more awesome fixes, check out  There, I Fixed It.