Tosh.0 Blog

The Academy Awards Are a Ponzi Scheme!

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | March 5, 2010 at 2:00PM

I usually don't mess around with web cartoons, but the above Savage Chickens single-panel really hit home for me.

The Oscars are a classic Ponzi scheme!

In the first ever Academy Awards, there were 2 nominees for best actor, creating one winner and one loser.  The next year, there were 5 nominees, creating a second winner but now 5 total losers.

Almost every year since, 4 more losers have been added into the pool of "deserving losers."  Yes, many of those losers have since died or stopped acting, but the number of deserving losers still far outnumbers the number of new talent!

Look at this year for example: Of the 5 nominees for best actor, 3 of them have been nominated before.  Think of all the new, fresh-faced actors paying into this system just so those who have already been nominated can get renominated and finally have a chance to win!

It's a fraud, I tell you!  A fraud!  When will the bubble burst?!

[via The Daily What]

Newsflash: Surprised Kitty is a Jerk

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | December 14, 2009 at 12:48PM

One of the most viral videos of the past few weeks: Surprised Kitty.  After spending over a month as a video unknown, the adorable little cat with his surprised paws has blown up to the count of over 11 million views.

Here's the real surprise though: It's all a scam!  Gothamist (my #1 source for cat news) reports "the kitten's surprise-while-being-tickled is a normal postural play response," meaning this kind of move can be common for kittens.

They even go on to quote veterinarian Dr. Peter Soboroff (Wait, is he a doctor or is he a veterinarian, because he certainly can't be both!?) as saying, "That Surprised Kitty is a total jerk, ripping off the work of other kittens and calling it his own.  He's like the Milli Vanilli or Coldplay of kittens.  He's terrible.  It's all B.S.!"

Alright, I totally made that quote up.  But as evidence, Dr. Soboroff did present the video above showing a cat he had taken care of doing the same thing.

Rip-off!

[via BuzzFeed]

Tags: 

cats

fraud

jerk

kittens

kitty

surprise

surprised kitty

Generate Phony Expense Reports Because Who Would Actually Pay a Lot of Money for a Steak?

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 16, 2009 at 6:00PM

That should just about cover the mortgage...

Boy! Viral marketers just gotta calm down. Here's a little marketing ploy web app that's going viral today. At least, the company behind this one is being upfront and admitting its advertising.

I needed the glue stick to make this expense report. The "Expense-A-Steak Headquarters" is an app that helps you falsify office expenses. You enter how much dough you need into the space and it spits back a PDF image of fake receipts that total to your requested dollar amount.

Maloney & Porcelli, the steakhouse who put this together, has this rationale: come to our steakhouse, spend lots of money on steak, put the total for the bill into our site and get reimbursed by your company for a lavish dinner. They're basically admitting that nobody in their right mind would personally pay for a $200 steak dinner. Instead, they'll be your accomplice in paying for it illegally. Good business model.

I'm just going to use it so I don't have to do those stupid expense reports in the first place. Accounting might not fall for it though. I'd have to explain why I flew to New York to buy 19 wire desk trays and 34 2-packs of whiteout.

[via Urlesque]