germany

"Thank you for saving me, Brendan. You have passed what I like to call the FIRE FRIENDSHIP TEST."

[via I am Bored]

I don't know, I just thought being a Hitler clone would be a little more exciting.

[via Acid Cow]

Germans test their tobacco like they test their women, with a finger and a nose.

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Matthew Wyatt.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Leave it to the Germans to take tobacco seriously.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images]

I actually met the Dildo King in person one time.  He was kind of a dick.  But not really.

[via Reddit]

Damn Commies! Living in their own world.

Come on. Has no one in China seen "Inglorious Basterds"?

[via failblog]

Here's the problem with death: After you die, you can no longer engage in sexual activity, so people can't tell if you're straight or gay.

Imagine this scenario: Hundreds of years from now, someone digs up your grave.  How will they be able to tell that you were gay?

"I engraved 'Here lies the body of a gay man' on my tombstone," you might say.  Ah, but what if your tombstone has been destroyed or gone missing?

"Well, I have a number of homosexual-themed tattoos," you may counter.  Ah, but as skin decomposes, tattoos will eventually disappear.

You fumble desperately, "Well, what if I was buried with the corpse of another man?" Well, I respond, what if you two were just really close friends?

This discussion underscores why any gay man or woman really should invest in a gay coffin.  That way future generations looking to disturb your holy burial site will always know the most important thing about you: that you were gay.

So, luckily, I bring all this up because there's a store in Germany that's got you covered.  Orange UK reports:

The caskets feature homoerotic artwork on the outside and come with a series of tastefully luxurious plush designer interiors.

Well, that sounds…  insane.  What day is April Fools' Day in Germany?

[via The Daily What]

Michael Cera, the baby-faced star of Superbad and Youth in Revolt, has recently become famous for his stellar photobombing. But this time he's really outdone himself.

The picture above was found in a museum in Berlin. And it clearly shows Michael dining with a family from the 1930s. (Click on the image to see the full shot.)

It's the most miraculous photobomb yet! Either that, or my theory of Cera's eternal youth is correct.

Ever since the second season of Arrested Development, I have been convinced that he doesn't age. Think about it. How many years has Cera spent playing the awkward teen?

Exactly. The guy does not age. And I present this photobomb as proof.

[via reddit]

Say what you will about Nazis, but these guys really know how to have a good time.

Germans don't have a reputation as the nicest people on the planet, but if they want to change their reputation, perhaps they should do their "materials to beat/rob/injure/hijack" shopping somewhere besides Amazon.de for the rest of the world to see.  Because if you enter in Baseballschläger (baseball bat), you'll see that people who bought that item also bought:

• Leder Quarzsandhandschuhe schwarz, or Black Leather "if they fit, you must acquit" Gloves
• Balaclava 3-Loch, or 3-Hole-unrecognizable-for-a-reason-Hat
• Pfefferspray KO-FOG, or good ol' "burn your eyes because I really want to hurt you" Pepperspray

…and two more types of baseball bats to really get the job done.

I'm going to put this out there; I think this is much more than just a language/translation issue.  I'll be avoiding Germany next time I'm in Europe and sticking to nice people places like Sweden.  You probably type in "baseball bat" on their site and get recommendations for nice things like Cracker Jacks and lollipops.  Just sayin'.

[via Reddit]