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So THAT'S how Asians are born.

[via Break]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Richard Branson dressed up like a lady. Turns out he has great legs. 
• Animal Livestreams! Go ahead. Watch baby ducks all day.
• Goldblumings might be the best single-topic tumblr ever.
• Meet wheelie man. He does wheelies like, all the time.
• Hot girls wash cars with their boobs. Women's rights!
• Kanye West ran his face into a sign, promptly flips the fuck out.
• Everyone wants to live on Mars, which is weird because Mars looks boring as shit.
• Mind the gap is all about girl's butts in underwear. I'm really delivering the T&A today.
• A woman got arrested on a flight and wouldn't stop singing I Will Always Love You. I honestly don't see the problem here.
• And here's what a missed connection in Alaska looks like. Hint: birding.

[photo via Buzzfeed]

Don't look at it too long- it's actually hypnotizing you to like Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

[via Failblog]

This is actually for a report on how Happy Meals are made.

[via Izismile]

If this was created 40 years ago, that makes it okay to masturbate to now, right?

[via Izismile]

"Yeah no it looks great, I guess I was just hoping for more of a 'radish'."

[via Acid Cow]

This seems like a good time to plug my latest children's book, "Animals Have Buttholes, Too."

[via CollegeHumor]

Man, back in my day the only school portrait options were purple, blue, or lasers.

[via Acid Cow]

Tuesday on an ALL NEW episode of Tosh.0, this starry-eyed Romeo gets the most perfect, most beautiful Web Redemption in all of the world.

Tune in to Tosh Tuesdays at ten!

In a sticky situation? Call the Jizz Whiz!