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"What else am I supposed to use my webcam for, talking to girls? WAIT YOU CAN DO THAT?!"

[via Imgur]

"It's not the size of the sign, it's how you use it."

[via Izismile]

Ben Stiller is: TAPED. In theaters June 14th.

[via Acid Cow]

I bet the bottoms are cute too.

[via Izismile]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

Eventually, the Ugly Duckling turned into a beautiful swan (who was actually just a guy jerking off in a lake).

[via Imgur]

You may be an ugly duckling now, but some day you'll blossom into a beautiful divorced chemistry teacher.

[via Acid Cow]

Come hell or high water, I need my eBay purchases.

[via Imgur]

So with a flick of my magic blogging wand…

A tripod to shoot this?? The only tripod around here is the one he's rocking in his pants IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

And don't forget to check out the other people who deserve fame!

[via Videogum]

…Dad?

[via Daily of the Day]