hanukkah

This must be one of those chocolate Hannukah cars. Mmmm…

[via Break]

Don't laugh. Il-Lin-teracy is no joke.

[via DoucheChillz]

"Next I'll show you how to break L'Chiymen."

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Vinny Bodetti.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

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I don't want to know the places that dreidel's been.

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[photo: Joyce Naltchayan/Staff/Getty Images]

So that's why it sometimes gets spelled with a "Ch."

[via BuzzFeed]

Last night, for the first night of Hanukkah, I gave you the present of a Happy Hanukkah Cat.

I did this primarily because last year, I gave you Happy Hanukkah Dogs and they didn't really elicit much of reaction.

Well, Happy Hanukkah Cat elicited a pretty big reaction… and that reaction was antisemitic jokes.

Unfortunately, antisemitism doesn't really fit in with the spirit of Hanukkah (oddly enough).  But don't take your anger out on Happy Hanukkah Cat.  Now I'm realizing that maybe you prefer Happy Hanukkah Dogs, but the problem was that those Happy Hanukkah Dogs from last year just weren't cute enough for you.

So how about these Happy Hanukkah Dogs?  Are these Happy Hanukkah Dogs cute enough to curb your hatred of Jewish holidays?!?

I think they probably are.

[via Skull Swap]

The sun is setting here on the east coast meaning Hanukkah is finally upon us.  And by "us," I mean "Jews."  Hanukkah is upon Jews.

Last year, I posted the Happy Hanukkah Dogs.

People didn't seem to love the Happy Hanukkah Dogs.

So this year, I'm going to do much better…  Happy Hanukkah Cat!  Cats are more Internet-y than dogs anyway.  Plus it's a little known fact that all cats are secretly Jewish.

Happy Hanukkah!

P.S.  If for some reason you want more Hanukkah Cats, there are plenty more where I found the one above on BuzzFeed.

Hanukkah (or as I like to spell it, Chanukkah, and I can speak Hebrew, so suck it) comes early this year.  December 1st to be exact.

Are all the Jews out there prepared?

Little known fact: Pregnancy tests are an important part of the Hanukkah celebration, because as most Christians are aware, Hanukkah is celebrated around the same time as Christmas.  And we all know what Christmas celebrates…  The birth of you know who…

No Jew wants to be caught making that mistake again.  It really fucked us over the first time…

[via The High Definite]

Tonight is the fourth (I think??) night of Hanukkah, and here is my gift to you: Strip Dreidel!

Strip dreidel is just like strip poker, but instead of poker you play the Hanukkah top-spinning game, dreidel, and instead of playing with just any old stripper, all of your strippers are Jews!

If this sounds like fun, you are sadly, sadly mistaken.  I wanted to find out whether this game needed to be labeled NSFW.  After playing for nearly 30 minutes, all I saw was a couple of Jewish girls holding up their shoes.

Turns out Jews are as prude on the Internet as they are in real life.

If you really want to get some Jewish ladies to strip, try doing a "Power Manischewitz Hour" instead.  I've heard the Elderberry flavored one is the real panty dropper.

[via The Daily What]

Just in case you thought the Internet had forgotten about all of our Jewish friends.

The Internet forgets nothing!  Be it Jewish holidays or your personal transgressions, the Internet always remembers.

Happy Hanukkah!

[via juliasegal]