harry potter

I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books or seen any of the movies and I still know the answer is his penis.

[via Reddit]

Talking cats in Potter glasses! Someone get me my fainting couch!

The newest and last installment of Harry Potter comes out today. In case you don't exactly remember the details of the orphan's life to date, these cats will help you brush up on things.

You can add cats to anything and the Internet will automatically love it. It's the opposite of what happens when you add Ashton Kutcher to things.

[via The DW]

If there's one thing I know about goblins and Ewoks, it's that their grip on reality is slim. They just don't know when it's inappropriate to do a magic trick under a bowler's hat.

[via The Daily Mail]

We received over a thousand comments for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by Warren.

He's also wearing a cloak that makes him invisible to women.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Check back Monday at 4pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

Unfortunately, in the real world, there's no spell
to protect your balls from broom damage.

Don't imply anything you don't want the media to turn around and use as a headline.

For example, Harry Potter told UK magazine Dazed & Confused:

?I said to a friend the other day, ?Dude, I?m doing a show with dancers. I?ve got to be single.? He was like, ?Don?t sleep with anyone in your own show. That?s a mistake.? It?s good advice. But I?m not sure I?ll stick to it.?

The Huffington Post turned that interview into the headline seen above.

I missed the part where he said he's "looking forward to sex with Broadway dancers". Oh, right. Because he didn't actually say those words.

No matter. Every dude at any given point in their life is looking forward to sex with Broadway dancers. Maybe someday! So the headline is accurate nonetheless.

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

J!

Sometimes you gotta be careful what two things you tweet within minutes of each other!

If you weren't cool enough to make it to Comic-Con, then you missed out on some really great stuff. David Hasselhoff had a party bus. And some other things went on.

Most importantly, though, there was nerd violence.

A guy in a Harry Potter t-shirt used a pen to stab a muggle in the eye.

Why? Well, Harry got upset because some guy (let's call him Voldemort) was saving himself a seat for a Seth Rogen panel. So he yelled the vision-impairing curse, "Conjuctivitis!"* and then rammed his writing utensil into Voldemort's eye.

*The yelling of Conjunctivitis may not have actually occurred. But the fight over a seat to see Seth Rogen did. And that's more pathetic.

[via FilmDrunk]

Bad news, guys. Harry Potter is evil.The novels were written to disciple children into the darkest aspects of witchcraft. And apparently, it's working. Kids are marking their foreheads with lightning bolts ? a sign of power worn by Harry Potter and, of course, Hitler.

According to a cult researcher and look-alike of my 9th grade geography teacher, Harry Potter "is made to be humorous and beautifully written and extremely provocative reading. And it just opens up children. It is horrible!"

Children reading books that are humorous and well-written? I can think of nothing that sickens me more.

Some of the evils promoted in JK Rowling's books include wands, robes, owls, and Latin words. And if there's one thing worse than exposing our children to owls then it's exposing our children to Latin words. Am I right?

I've heard the Harry Potter is evil argument before. But this takes things to a whole new extreme.

They are going to be so upset when they hear about Twilight! Hitler sparkled too, you know.

[via The Daily What]

Good morning. There's no better way to start your Friday than with a fake trailer for a movie that will never be made. You want a little tease with that coffee?

This is pretty magical. I could do without the high-pitched voice but the flawless editing makes the whole video worth it.

Why are we making every book Nicholas Sparks has ever written into a movie when we could be making this? Because Hollywood is run by a bunch of muggles, that's why.