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Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

TOMORROW on the last episode of Tosh.0 before the summer break, we sit down and get nostalgic with the Nerf dunker who changed the game.

Tune in to Tosh Tuesday at 10!

It's always the gross one that wants to get naked.

[via HyperVocal]

[via Buzzfeed]

Except Arya Stark. That tiny badass can stay.

[via BIOTV]

Winter is fucking coming, you guys.

[via Buzzfeed]

We see countless irrelevant comments. Our favorite this week came from Mike M. in response to a porn star's Valentine's Day.

I'll explain Boardwalk Empire, Mike. But just know that you're the one that changed the subject from porn to prohibition.

Boardwalk Empire is a period drama focusing on Enoch "Nucky" Thompson, a political figure who rose to prominence and controlled Atlantic City, New Jersey during the Prohibition period of the 1920s and 1930s. Nucky interacts with several historical figures in both his personal and political life, including mobsters, politicians, government agents, and the common folk who look up to him.

Okay. Now someone explain Shameless to me.

[Wikipedia]

You're fucking out. Jose Canseco is fucking in.

[via Buzzfeed]

A few months back I let you in on the best secret in education, Drunk History. But apparently I was quick on the uptake and the video I posted was removed from our site. Damn Yankees! Or whatever.

But now…it's back! And I'm posting it legally. And it's still awesome!

This is the story of Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison as told by Duncan Trussell who is a six pack of beer and half a bottle of absinthe drunk. Tesla and Edison are played by John C. Reilly and Crispin Glover.

That's right. The video combines history, beer, and absinthe with John C. Reilly and Crispin Glover. Did the weekend come early? Because this sounds like a party!

And… (as with any good party) there's PUKE!

[via FOD]

Drunk History is an awesome online series of videos where history becomes intoxicating. The image above comes from the telling of Frederick Douglass' story by Jen Kirkman who is two bottles of wine drunk. It features Will Ferrell and Don Cheadle as Lincoln and Douglass. And it's one of the most entertaining historical lessons ever.

There are five more nuggets of brilliance on the Drunk History site.

Seriously? If my history classes were this interesting, I would probably know who the second and third presidents were and I bet I'd be able to tell you who fought in WWII. Besides Germany.

[via The Daily What]