headlines

Seems like a worthy cause.

[via IHC]

…Or maybe it isn't missing a word.  I didn't read the article.  Who knows what bishops are up to these days?

[via The High Definite]

A couple of days later I saw this headline: "Local News Website Increases Traffic After Hiring Comedian to Write Headlines."

[via BuzzFeed]

They didn't mention it in the article, but here's what was in the package: http://www.amazon.com/Chromium-Crusher-Premium-Quality-non-aluminum/dp/B000KVBAAI/

[via Reddit]

Spanish prostitutes/8th grade hall monitors

[via Telegraph]

Don't imply anything you don't want the media to turn around and use as a headline.

For example, Harry Potter told UK magazine Dazed & Confused:

?I said to a friend the other day, ?Dude, I?m doing a show with dancers. I?ve got to be single.? He was like, ?Don?t sleep with anyone in your own show. That?s a mistake.? It?s good advice. But I?m not sure I?ll stick to it.?

The Huffington Post turned that interview into the headline seen above.

I missed the part where he said he's "looking forward to sex with Broadway dancers". Oh, right. Because he didn't actually say those words.

No matter. Every dude at any given point in their life is looking forward to sex with Broadway dancers. Maybe someday! So the headline is accurate nonetheless.

Philadelphians are such dicks.

[via Reddit]

In case you missed it, there was a big track and field battle over the holiday weekend.

Reuters reported on the event with the following caption to the above image: "Walter Dix of the U.S. crosses the finish line ahead of compatriot Tyson Gay to win the men's 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League track meet in Eugene, Oregon July 3, 2010."

Or as they summed up so eloquently in the headline:

Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters

Oh, bravo, Reuters!  (Can you hear my sarcastic clap?)

What would the headline have been if Gay had won?

Gay wins, Dix sucked

Hey, look at me!  I could be a professional news journalist!

Last Friday, we showed you "Street Surfer Skids Into Building" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Friday for the results and a new video.

Wait, what happened? Who did what to who dressed as what?

I wish you would just tell me exactly what went down so I would know whether or not I wanted to read about it. I can't understand this story because your headline is NOT DETAILED ENOUGH!!!

I'm kidding! It's great! Packed with imagery. From here on out 'Woman Assaults Ex-Girlfriend' will no longer do.

[via Epicponyz]