hero

A soft spanking with a 'wet floor' sign will teach him that crime doesn't pay.

[via 4Gifs]

Breakout interview of the year: Madame Tussaud's kiosk worker.

[via CBS Local]

Yes, it's true. "Kai The Hatchet-Wiedling Hitchhiker" is officially wanted for murder. His bail is set at $3 million dollars, he has cut his hair in attempt to conceal himself on the run, and the victim died of blunt force trama.

The SHOCKING part of this story, is that Kai is 34-years-old. Am I the only idiot who thought he was like, 22?

[via New York Magazine]

Your weekly guide to the source material used in this week's episode of Tosh.0.

• Slow Mo Kick to Face (above)
• Cake Mixer in Hair
• Naked Skier
• 20 Seconds on the Clock raw clip:Asians Staying Warm
• Leg Cast Lady
• Video Breakdown raw clip: Quack Like a Duck
• Police Motorcycle Fail
• CeWEBrity Profile raw clip: X12
• Excited About Highway
• Unicycle Fail

High shelves are his Kryptonite.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Jay Directo/Stringer/AFP/Getty Images]

Bill Wisth has a problem. It's not his running tab at a seafood restaurant nor is it the fact that he weighs 350 pounds. Bill's issue is that a place claiming to be "all-you-can-eat" would have the nerve to cut him off after just 20 pieces of fish.

To demonstrate his displeasure, Bill has vowed to picket outside Chuck's each Sunday "until the restaurant rethinks what happened."

Not a bad place to be every weekend considering, "Well, they do have like some of the best pizza in town, if you like deep dish."

[via BWE]

Mark Wahlberg did an interview recently with Men?s Fitness and fuck, you guys, this dude is a hero.

On being scheduled to be on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11:

?If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn?t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ?OK, we?re going to land somewhere safely, don?t worry.??

"And then me saying 'Who wants a Wahlburger?!?'" Oh no, wait. That's not part of the quote. I actually believe Mark though. Because did you see his hair in The Lovely Bones? Only a fucking badass can pull off that cut.

Never forget Funky Bunch.

[via Videogum]

You could replace Beibs with a bum from the streets and their expressions would not change.

[via The Clearly Dope]

"Dude, you have no Quran." – Coolest Guy Ever

[via HuffPo]

Last week there was a large explosion in Nanjing, China and this photo of a frightened monkey saving a puppy from the flames made its way around the web.

I was a bit offended by the hype the monkey got. Because moments after this shot was taken, an even larger explosion occurred and I ran in to save the monkey that was saving the puppy.

Now I'm not big on trying to look like a hero but I did do all of this in a strapless dress. So I think I deserve some recognition for that.