hooker

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• 12 boob gifs. I just tried to grab my computer screen.
• Parakeets running in slow motion, which pairs nicely with almost any genre of music.
• Cow farts could one day fuel planes. In terms of cow parts, farts are really the only thing we DON'T use.
• A guy had an erection for 8 months. That's what you get for getting a dick implant.
• Dogs out the window will make you question every stress you have in life.
• Miley Cyrus has a grill now. She could barely talk before!
• Here's a guy dancing at an electronics expo, dancing pretty much how you'd expect from someone attending an electronics expo.
• Facebook has hashtags now. #ohyeahnothatsreallycoolwealllovehashtags.
• A couple married at Ikea. Their first, second, and third courses were all Swedish meatballs.
• An idiot called the police on his hooker because she wasn't hot enough. Wait not all hookers are hot?!
• And girls in towels, because I'm a sweetheart.

[still via I am Bored]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

Probably because we're not an epileptic hooker.

This highway does a great impression of my dad.

[via The Chive]

Mail order bride.. some assembly required.

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Mark Cofone.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

And this is my hooker leg! It's very fragile, much like my mental state.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: John Lamparski/Contributor/Getty Images]

First her mom named her Paisley. Then she entered her in beauty pageants. And now she's dressing her like a hooker.

We all like Pretty Woman. Richard Gere plus Julia Roberts' mouth is a great combination. But this clip from Toddlers & Tiaras is just disturbing. No three-year-old should be dressed like a prostitute. Even for Toddlers & Tiaras, this is bad. And that show has lower standards than a frat boy at closing time.

Big mistake, Paisley's mom. BIG. Huge.

[via Jezebel]

What does it take to get a spike in ratings these days? Well, if the numbers for Monday's episode of "Two and a Half Men" are any indication, it takes one hooker, one hotel room, and three lines of coke.

Thirteen million people tuned in this week to watch Charlie Sheen and friends ham it up for the laugh track. That's a 7% increase from before Sheen's incident.

Our publicity team is working like crazy today upon hearing the news. They're trying to get the Tosh.0 prostitute to meet Daniel in the Penthouse Suite at the Holiday Inn. Cocaine's on us.

[via Gawker]

In tonight's episode, Daniel did an Oprah-esque giveaway.

And took on a challenge for sticking money in your body.

But that's not all. You can see a lot more of tonight's show right here on the site:

• This week's we had a Web Reflection on all of Season 2's best moments
• This week's Video Breakdown featured an airbag explosion
• We put 20 seconds on the clock for a guy masturbating on the highway
• Daniel determined this season MVP
• We watched your attempts at the cacao challenge
• And Daniel ended the year with The Most Perfect Internet Video Ever!
• Want to submit your own video? Do it here!

Finally, you can check out every single clip from this week's show in this week's raw clips guide.