insanity

I thought cat ladies were the problem. Nope, it's rat ladies. Or this rat lady, at least. Don't think this video is over until she starts talking about the dead one.

Wow.

I can't express how happy I am that I'm on the other side of the country. Have fun with that lunatic, New York!

via Dlisted

It's clothes for weiners.

Listen — and this is for all men out there — if any woman goes home with you, and you take off your pants to reveal genitalia that's been dressed up like a Barbie doll, we're out. No if, ands, or buts. Or peens.

The only place someone can sell dick outfits is online, because WHO BUYS A $45 OUTFIT FOR THEIR JUNK?

That's all I'm going to say about this. Carry on.

[via Dapper Dicks]

I know most of you were spending your day trying to figure out how you'll stop all those nasty alien abductions that happen to you all the time, so I have some good news for you. You can!

I stumbled upon this gem of a website, Stopabductions.com, and realized I can learn how to stop aliens from abducting me and reading my mind in only a few, easy steps!

Don't believe me? Check out how to make a "Thought Screen Helmet" and stop worrying about beings from outer space violating you and robbing your thoughts.  According to the site, "an expert" says they work!  That's enough proof for me.  This is all you have to do:

Step 1: Believe in Aliens.
Step 2: Believe they rob your thoughts.
Step 3: Find this website; be careful not to go to any real sources of information regarding outer space life forms.
Step 4: Make this helmet.
Step 5: Wear this helmet.
Step 6: Continue to lose your mind.

That's it! Remember: people wear these helmets because they're special.  

Special indeed.  Who woulda thunk we could rid ourselves of alien mind control so easily!?  Thanks internet!

The web is all a buzz about this 1993 series of AT&T ads because they evidently "predict the future."

Slow your row, forum nerds. These aired 16 years ago; it's not like this is a video of Nostradamus predicting the rise of the iPhone. We've had computer technology for over 50 years, so relax.

In case you were wondering, there is a Nostradamus app for that.  

But I already knew that, because I'm a "blogrophet."  If you don't know what that is, don't worry, you will in 16 years.

You can probably fit every single user of the Internet into two categories: People with ADD and people who love funny images/videos of cats.  Thus, this video is the grand unifier of all things Net-tastic…

If watching that video makes you want to kill me, don't be alarmed: That's why it was created.  It unleashes a level of primal rage previous inaccessible before the advent of self-produced digital media.  It's power to actualize hatred and annoyance have not been seen or understood since the days of Urkel.

[via Buzzfeed]