intelligence

They can even do Christopher Walken impressions because they're so smart they can do anything.

What!?! That's nice!

If you're smart, you'll tune in tomorrow for a brand new episode of Tosh.0 at 10p/9c on Comedy Central!!!

Captain Obvious has been hired by BBC news! Here's his first story:

Twitter tweets are 40% 'babble'

Pshaw, Captain Obvious!  I never thought that any tweets were 'babble.'  In fact, Twitter's where I do my learnin'!  It's almost as valuable as watching marathons of "16 and Pregnant" while I hit my noggin with a hammer!

Look up yonder.  I took a sample from the public timeline and proved this guy done wrong.  No one's babblin', Captain Obvious!  In fact, I just got real smarter by reading tweets for 47 minutes!  That's a whole hour to get real smarter!  Ya' heard?

Go back to telling everyone my uncle drinks too much, Captain.  You're no longer needed here in popular media.

Breaking science news!

Earlier today, UniqueDaily.com had a blog post summarizing an article proclaiming that a recent study found that "Fast Food Makes You Less Intelligent."

Turns out 10 days of a high fat diet was enough to ruin rats' short term memory.  (One genius rat was wandering around for 30 minutes trying to find his car keys.)

You know what also makes you less intelligent?  Getting your science news from a Comedy Central blog's write-up of an entertainment blog's summary of a science news article based on a study published in a scientific journal.

Play "telephone" much?