invention

It's like a baby bjorn for lonely fat people.

[via Acid Cow]

When this machine comes to America, I'm going to get dumped immediately.

[via Barstool]

The great thing about this is it's sleek design. And that it's virtually silent.

[via Devour]

It makes perfect sense to hug a vibrating pillow with your phone in it because if the person you were talking to was in the room with you, you would hug them for your whole conversation.

It's weird but that's what you do.

Order now!

[via Oddity Central]

"Hello, is this Bobby Stewart? Preston Junior High School Class of 1964? Yeah, we're gonna need that blue ribbon back. The gift certificate to Howard Johnson's, too."

[via Dlisted]

Innovations in toilet paper technology? Hells yeah!!!

It's okay to poop your pants in excitement. Because wiping your ass is now easier than ever!

[via IHC]

Holy cow!  I can choose between cans of Bud Light, Bud Light Lime, Bud Select or PBR?

Can I get the cannon to shoot me in the head because I would rather do a walking tour of Afghanistan for a sip of piss than drink any of that crap?

On the plus side you could aim the cannon towards your local garbage dump to dispose of all those undrinkable cans of Bud Light Lime.

[via Gizmodo]

According to The Guardian, the devices will be sold in vending machines in nightclubs, pharmacies, and in supermarkets. And they'll only cost a dollar.

Ain't technology grand?

I peed on my Dad's carphone once. Didn't detect any STDs but it did prove to him that I wasn't joking when I said we needed to stop.

[via Blame it on the Voices]

You decide.

[via Reddit]

Well, I guess we all saw this coming. It's a t-shirt that counts your e-mails. And it exists because two dorks fell in love, got married, and now they have a lot of time on their hands. Obviously, they're using this time together to procreate t-shirts.

I don't think I'm smart enough to understand the appeal of this article of clothing. Yeah, a t-shirt that displays your e-mails sounds handy. Or one that reads your e-mails aloud, in case you need to hear them while driving or something.

But a t-shirt that simply displays the number of e-mails you have? Is a full inbox a source of pride among nerds these days? I don't get it.

If someone gave me a microcontroller, a conductive thread, and a dongle, I'd put it to better use. I'd thread that dongle through that lilypad until it knocked the shirt right off your back. You know I would.

[via Best Week Ever]