Iran

[ABOVE: Lady Gaga attempts to doom humanity.]

In further proof that a lack of understanding for what causes natural phenomenon extends beyond Juggalos, Yahoo! News reports that "A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes."

That explains why Chile got one of the largest earthquakes of all time this year: When I think Chile, I think filthy whores.

But yes, joking about natural disasters is wrong.  Still, it's not as wrong as Iran's claim that promiscuous women can cause earthquakes.  If that was true, the ground would have opened up and swallowed the San Fernando Valley like 15 years ago.

Wha…  Wait a minute…  Could it be??

If sluts did cause earthquakes, it would prove my theory that Lady Gaga is an evil plot to destroy the world.

I feel so conflicted right now.

[via Cynical-C]

Word spread quickly today that Twitter was hacked last night by a group proclaiming to be the "Iranian Cyber Army."

For awhile, the Twitter main page was replaced with the image above.

Twitter says that the service is back to normal, but in typical Iranian fashion, I've heard rumors that a number of tweets have been taken hostage.

Some tweets that may have gone missing:

• One user reports that she tweeted "This ice cream is giving me a brainfreeze. FU Ben & Jerry!" but has yet to receive a single sympathy reply.
• Another user tweeted last night "FREE TIX 4 AVATAR!!! TOMORROW!!!! Let me know who wants to come!"  No one has replied requesting these tickets which is highly suspect.  Who would turn down free tickets to Avatar??
• A user reports that she tried to start a new Twitter game "#MyFingerSmellsLike" but nothing is coming up on Twitter search.  This is obviously another disturbing development.

Appeals have been made to President Obama to mobilized the U.S. military to get these tweets back.

We'll keep you posted.

[via TechCrunch]

Yesterday, Michigan Congressman Pete Hoekstra sent this now infamous tweet into cyberspace:

"Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House."

In comparing the ongoing p0litical unrest and massive nationwide protests over the questionable elections in Iran (a nation now cut off from communication with the outside world) to basic governmental procedure in the U.S. Congress, Hoekstra unleashed a flurry of absurdly lopsided analogies from the Twitter community mocking his use of, as the brand spankin' new site Pete Hoekstra Is A Meme states, "grandiose exaggerations and comparisons."  (It should be noted that declaring Pete Hoekstra to be a meme less than 24 hours after his initial tweet is somewhat Hoekstraian on its own.  But we'll let them slide for now.)

Buzzfeed called out some of their favorites, of which I favored these three:

"Walked around a lot yesterday. Now I know what the Bataan Death March was like."

"Walked out onto Constitution Ave in D.C. and was almost hit by a taxi. Reminded me of Tienanmen Square."

And this absolute gem: "Sitting in a chair, feeling a good deal like Stephen Hawking."

So you get the deal.  Have you found any Hoekstra reactions you like?  Got any of your own?