jar

As the seller explains:

"I have been doing research on the best ways to fart in a container and have the smell be just as potent as a fresh fart. So not to give you all my details it starts in the tub. That way I am able to capture a fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air….  (I have tested farts up to two weeks and they are still 100% potent as the first fart.)"

This girl is such an idiot.

Think long term!  You don't want to be farting in jar after jar for the rest of your life.  But if you wrote a book on fart preservation, you could earn residuals off that one book for years to come.

Give a man a rotten fish and he smells for a day.  Teach a man to rot fish and he smells for a lifetime.

[via @JeffStevens199]

Why am I not surprised that tip jar is empty.

Tried this line a million times.  Never works.

[via I Am Bored]

Are they trying to attract delinquents? Compared to their old mailbox, I feel like that?d be even more spectacular to hit with a baseball bat.

[via There, I Fixed It]

I'm easily impressed by Internet cat videos, but this one just doesn't do it for me.  Because ANYONE could teach their cat how to open a jar of food!  In fact, I'm going to tell you the steps how to do it right now.

STEP #1: Get as many cats as possible
STEP #2: Starve your cats for a minimum of 23 days
STEP #3: Taunt your starving cats by placing a completely full jar of food in front of them
STEP #4: Set up your Flip cam and let the fun begin

Like a million starving monkeys at a million typewriters, one of these cats is bound to discover the new found ability to open a jar deep within its survival instincts.

HOWEVER, if your cats are unable to open the jar, try following these three additional steps.

STEP #5: Get a good lawyer
STEP #6: Find a quiet safe house where you can hide out for about 7 months while this whole debacle blows over with PETA
STEP #7: Repeat Steps 1 – 4

[via Buzzfeed]