jersey shore

"Jersey Shore is a show that used to be super popular." – You explaining your Jersey Shore ornament this Christmas

[via I Am Bored]

Many women, including myself, subscribe to the notion that everything sounds cooler when you say it with an accent.

If you admit that that hardest craft you've ever done is your hair, we will laugh at you. But if you tell us in a British accent, we will take our pants off.

Can't explain it. We just will.

Point is, I already like this show better than Jersey Shore.

Hopefully it lives up to its American predecessor so Holly can make $32,000 to speak at whatever the UK equivalent of Rutgers is.

[via Dlisted, Today]

Wrestling is fake, right? Right. Okay, we know that.

But of all the things that Snooki fakes?bar fights, friendships, reading?this is the one she's best at.

Wrestling may be fake but did you see that back handspring?

It was real to me, dammit!

[via The Clearly Dope]

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Jersey Shore?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Jersey Shore is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because I have The Situation's agent on the phone and he'll do it. He'll do anything.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[via Gawker]

If you're like me, your weak, scrawny body has never been to the gym; your pale, vampire-like skin fears the light of tanning; and you sure as hell don't do your laundry.

But despite all that, we can still take one step closer to that perfect Jersey look with this new line of Jersey Shore personal care products.

And I'm going to need to get really clean after I slut it up with everyone in my house.  When it comes to acting like a Jersey guy, I only stick to the important parts: being a manwhore.

[via The Daily What]

The Hollywood Reporter reports that last night's Jersey Shore premiere was the highest rated telecast in MTV history.

And if you asked the same question I asked, the answer is, yes, it even beat the 2007 return of Road Rules: Viewers' Revenge.

Here's hoping their success is never-ending! Now excuse me: I have to get back to no longer caring about Speidi.

Our favorite tan hamster has written a novel called "A Shore Thing", the content of which will make you want to drop what you're doing and head for the nearest online bookstore.

Whet your appetite with these nuggets of brilliance:

"Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."

"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."

I once had an argument with Mike that began with my proclamation that Snooki, in her own way, is somewhat of a genius.

Well. When you're right. You're right.

[via NYPost]

Return your tux, call off the limo, break up with your girlfriend.

New Year's is cancelled.

According to PopEater, Snooki will no longer descend from the heavens in a giant hamster ball at midnight. An insider claimed there's "no way" the Times Square officials would allow the Snooki ball drop stunt: "You have to play by the official rules or you get kicked out."

Well, fuck a duck. I guess 2011 just isn't gonna happen.

Like a tiny, radiant angel fallen from the sky, Snooki will descend upon Times Square this New Year's Eve. Obviously she'll be inside a sparkly ball.

Your 2011 Halloween costume just created itself.

[via Hollywood Reporter]

This is a preview for Canada's answer to Jersey Shore. It's kind of long but I assure you it's worth watching.

Salem, the gay Lebanese fashion designer, describes himself as "pestimistic". (Not a typo.)

I assume you're not even reading this anymore. Blah blah titties blah. Enjoy!

[via Videogum]