justin bieber

You had me at "Burma is heaven for Bieber".

[via BuzzFeed]

OMG, you guys. It's Justin Bieber's 17th birthday!!! He is one year away from being legal. AHHHHHHHHHH! Rejoice amongst yourselves.

And what a crazy coincidence that his b-day falls on a show night. Best day ever??? I'd say so.

To celebrate the Biebs' day of birth, we made him this cake. And then we sent our good friend Dexter to cut him it!

Happy birthday Justin!!!

[via EPICponyz]

I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first? The bad news?

Okay.

Justin Bieber cut his hair.

I'll give you a moment to recover.

You back? Okay. Now here's the good news. Said trimmed locks are for sale.

A box of Bieber hair? Hell yeah. How early is too early for Christmas shopping?

Now head on over to eBay and make your $10,000 bid. The money will benefit an animal shelter. But let's be honest. The real winner here is YOU.

[via The Clearly Dope]

On last night's episode of CSI, Justin Bieber was violently shot and killed in a stand-off with the police.

Consider yourself a fan of CSI.

[via BlameItOnTheVoices]

I don't care if you are cover-of-Playboy hot, there are some things I will not do to get laid.

[via BuzzFeed]

Esperanza Spalding beat out Justin Bieber for "Best New Artist" at the Grammys on Sunday. As you can imagine, Bieb's fans were very upset. And so they did what any angry, bitter group of people would do?they took to editing her Wikipedia page.

"JUSTIN BIEBER DESERVED IT GO DIE IN A HOLE" is no "Tosh.0 is pronounced smeg-mah". Come on, Beliebers. You can do better.

And her new middle name? Quesadilla? Who thought of that, a 12 year-old?!? Oh…right.

[via Blame It On The Voices]

I know how you feel, Biebs.  When I was 16, I dreamed of winning a Grammy too.

You think Esperanza Spalding is bad.  Guess who won Best New Artist when I was your age…  Hootie & the Blowfish!  Yeah.  I know.

I didn't let it get to me though: I just kept working my part-time job bagging groceries at the GIANT Food Store.

And look at me now!  31-years-old, never nominated, never even got a record deal.  And all I had to do was spend 18 years tirelessly perfecting my craft.

SO YOU CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF, BIEBER!

Tell @UsherRaymondIV I say, "What up."

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Daily Show?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Daily Show is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because we're all owned by the same parent company so we could force Jon Stewart to do it.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[Previously: The Situation + Justin Bieber]

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Jersey Shore?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Jersey Shore is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because I have The Situation's agent on the phone and he'll do it. He'll do anything.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[via Gawker]

I'm no 17 year-old boy but it sounds like he's talking about masturbation!

Either that, or his washing machine isn't spacious enough to fit his sheets and his tiny Bieber socks.

So what do you think? Is Biebs washing his clothes or is he airing his dirty laundry in front of 6.8 million followers???

Cast your vote on this extremely important debate now!

[via @justinbieber]