keys

"I don't care how long you're standing outside your apartment but if you've exposed the inside of my avocado to air- TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE."

I mean, that's what I assume he wrote back.

[via Reddit]

Congratulations to Alex DiGiacinto and Cate Freedman, creators of last night's Tosh.0 Viewer Video of the Week.

If you missed it or can't get enough of "Lost Keys," check out the video above.

And don't forget to submit your own videos for a chance to be the next Viewer Video on Tosh.0.

This doormat is a pretty sweet idea.

Problem is, in this picture, it's facing the wrong way.

Now, instead of a reminder on the way out, it's telling you the three things you're coming back for after you left the house way too fucking high.

[via The Awesomer]

Last Thursday, we showed you "Simple Way to Get Keys out of a Locked Car" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "Simple Way to Get Keys out of a Locked Car."  The title's a bit long for my tastes.  I mean, it's not as long as the titles you guys suggest in the comments, but then again, what titles are??

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote was Rory Bourgeois with his title, "Role change: Robin saves day while Batman gobbles on wiener."  It's funny because it implies that typically Robin is a cock-gobbler!  And gobbling cock is funny!!  Congratulations, Rory!

Yeah, keys totally suck.  I would greatly prefer having a phone book full of doors' phone numbers.

"Oh, hi, door.  How are you doing?  Just calling to see if you wouldn't mind closing  for me.  Oh, you'll close?  Great.  Thanks, door.  You want me to bring you something back from Starbucks?  No?  Okay!  Talk to you when I get back in 2 minutes and have to get let back in!  Bye, door."

[via BuzzFeed]

A Redditor user showed off what his computer keyboard looks like after "six months without a job."

My suggestion to him: Once you get some cash go buy yourself an Xbox, get a Kinect, get some exercise.  Maybe grab yourself an iPad, play some touchscreen games.  Maybe meet a woman; take her out to a nice dinner.  Get the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu.  That'll help you keep her.

Give that keyboard a rest.

[via Reddit]

Daniel does hood rat stuff with Latarian Milton in the Comedy Central parking lot.

Want more redemption? Head over to our Web Redemptions category to catch all the redeeming moments you may have missed.

And don't forget to check in tomorrow at noon when we'll post the extended interview with the hoodrat kid to find out why it's so fun to do bad things.