kim kardashian

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

-Lingerie for men, because nothing soaks up ball sweat quite like lace

-McDonald's breakfast all day? Yes please with a side of hash browns.

-This bear escape looks a lot like a dude holding a piece of cardboard

-15 really bad engagement photos that make me happy I'm UTTERLY ALONE

-Some hot girl's asses, because texting them to one guy is fucking prude

-The best Larry David tattoos… pret-ty pret-ty cool

-A Kim Kardashian clone showed up in Ray-J's video. Thankfully she wasn't pregnant.

-Women are stupid. Here's why.

-Prison reviews on Yelp. May I serve my sentence at Rikers, Your Honor?

-And Obama with bangs.

[photo via HommeMystere]

Kim Kardashian is going to be a great mom.

[via Eat Liver]

Now we just need a video of the Kardashian sisters discussing the "Lemon Party" video and the circle of life will be complete.

[via Reddit]

Now get your sister in here.

[via izismile]

Lots and lots and lots of storage in the rear.

[via izismile]

3. Grassroots Efforts Afoot To Move "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" To Pakistan

[Buzzfeed via IMNS]

To hell with the Kardashians.  I wanna keep up with this guy.  He's hilarious!

If he was selling a line of suits, I'd be all over it… even if they were so shitty that only Sears would carry them.

But let this be a lesson to all of you: Don't bring your weak bullshit to a Philadelphia satellite interview.  People there eat cheesesteaks like you for breakfast.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Finally, a CNN correspondent we can relate to.

[via The DW]

Oh.  Psoriasis.  Cause I would have guessed something else.  Not psoriasis.  An STD.  That would have been my guess.  If you had wanted us to guess.  But you didn't want us to guess.  You just told us.  It's psoriasis.  Okay.

[via BuzzFeed]