lies

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Excellent mug shots. Somebody's rockin' the smoky eye!
• Tan Mom's music single IS the internet.
• A man got sent a threatening dildo. I wonder if he kept it.
• How to make a graduation cap flask so you can be a shitshow in front of your girlfriend's parents.
• This is the best shopping list ever, even though she forgot Fudgesicles.
• Sexy girls' underboobs! Most of the real weight's down there anyway.
• Here's the Charles Ramsey interview. Yes, salsa dancing.
• 5 most ridiculous lies ever told to impress a woman. Why isn't "My dick is huge" on there?
• Lewiston, Maine residents respond to the fires, are just classy to the max.
• And JA RULE IS OUT OF PRISON!! It must be the ass, that got me like that…

Right?? Like, lizards are NOT affectionate.

[via Failblog]

People who know me know I love two things: free drugs and following-up on stories I have previously written about.  I really hate not knowing how things end.  And I also hate paying for all of my drugs.

Well, as the details unravel, some small holes exist in last week's story that actor Jeremy London was kidnapped and forced to smoke free drugs at gunpoint.

Really?? 'Cause that story seemed airtight.

But, alas, turns out the innocent until-proven-guilt man Mr. London decided to have shipped off to jail doesn't corroborate Jeremy's story.

According to an interview with RadarOnline, the suspect who supposedly kidnapped Mr. London has a different tale to tell, including such shockers as:

"As soon as we got in the car, Jeremy asked us if we could get him five xanax and five oxycontin. … I told him I could hook him up but that I wanted a couple of beers.  He agreed."

And:

"Jeremy wanted to drink, so we bought beer and some hard alcohol and we got f****d up. … We went driving around my neighborhood, handing out beer to my friends and random people on the street. We were having a good time."

Oh, and of course:

"I was finally able to get [Jeremy] three ecstasy and three xanax pills. He took all six pills at once. He was out of his mind high."

None of this sounds like something someone from Hollywood would do.  No.  The "forced-to-do-free-drugs-at-gunpoint" story seems far more logical!

But you can't blame, Jeremy.  He used to be is an actor.  Actors have no idea how to come up with a good story.  That's why Hollywood pays millions of dollars to writers to tell all these stupid actors what to do.

Next time, Jeremy, take the number one acting lesson to heart: Pay someone else to come up with your story for you.

[via The Huffington Post]

Mashable reports that Apple has now officially sold 1 million iPads.

From their article:

?One million iPads in 28 days?that?s less than half of the 74 days it took to achieve this milestone with iPhone,? said Steve Jobs, Apple?s CEO.

Oddly enough though, I remember when they released the iPhone, I immediately started seeing iPhones everywhere.  I recall thinking, This many people really have AT&T cell phone service?

But I have yet to catch even a glimpse of an iPad in person.  And I live in New York City… and take the subway to and from work everyday.  I see Kindles left and right.  But no iPads.

I had trouble even finding a photo of someone other than Steve Jobs using an iPad.

So where are all the iPads?  Is everyone taking a five iron to them??  Maybe there is a dumpster somewhere full of destroyed iPads?

Or maybe people are just afraid to take them out in public.  It's hard to openly admit you are Steve Job's bitch.

[image via beatak/Flickr]

Real or Fake?

This video is all over the web today. A guy living in NYC claims to have had a homeless woman living in his apartment's storage space who ate his food, pissed in his sink, and watched his TV at night while he was sleeping for several weeks. And he had no idea!

I call fake. Why?

The convenient fact Homeless Mary drinks out of his milk carton while he's sleeping (ew!) and he wakes up to do the exact same thing. Seems a little too contrived for my taste, but that's just me.

What do you guys think? Tell us in the comments below!