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Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The best Lion King rap ever. Rafiki be smokin' that weed and shit.
• A Bad Lip Reading of The Walking Dead. Zombies say the darnest things!
• A hot teacher was banging a 10th grader and got caught because she acted like a 10th grader
• Here's footage of Reese Witherspoon's arrest. 'Murica.
• This little boy fighting a couch is pure gold. That'll teach it not to eat the remote!
• Bad girls bend at the waist. Regular girls do too, if we're being anatomically correct here.
• Guy thinks he has a runny nose for a year. NOPE YOUR BRAIN'S LEAKING.
• She takes pictures with every celebrity. Also, refuses to change hairstyles.
• 25 awkward moments in handshake history. Thank god I just wink at people.
• And let's check in on Amanda Bynes. Guys she's not crazy. That's just how she works out.

[photo via Daily of the Day]

So with a flick of my magic blogging wand…

"Try all you want, Ma. This cruise sucks and I'll probably never smile again."

And don't forget to check out the other people who deserve fame!

[via Videogum]

Same thing happened to me last time I flew first class. I'd downed like six Jack and Cokes, but still.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

Tuesday on an ALL NEW episode of Tosh.0, we give these tiny-minded ladies a full-sized Web Redemption.

Tune in to Tosh Tuesdays at ten!

He even looks better in a suit.

[via Barstool]

He doesn't doodle with crayons. He makes frescos with 10th grader's blood.

[via It Makes No Sense]

Get yours today!

…The shirt, not the child. You people are animals.

[via Izismile]

Hey- both hands where I can see 'em, Ma.

[via I Am Bored]

Every week we'll give you the gift of an internet classic, from the dark days pre-Tosh.0 blog.

"I want pie!"

"I want beef jerky!"

It's like she was there when my roommate and I argued about what to eat for dinner last night.

[via YouTube]

What are you, a Women's Studies major? Pick a Barbie and let's roll.

[via Reddit]