lose

Later she's gonna get the HPV vaccine while having unprotected sex with a frat boy.

[via Daily of the Day]

Make sure you cut it below the bikini line.

[via Lamebook]

Alternately, you could be me playing Blackjack in Vegas last week.

[via The HD]

I know how you feel, Biebs.  When I was 16, I dreamed of winning a Grammy too.

You think Esperanza Spalding is bad.  Guess who won Best New Artist when I was your age…  Hootie & the Blowfish!  Yeah.  I know.

I didn't let it get to me though: I just kept working my part-time job bagging groceries at the GIANT Food Store.

And look at me now!  31-years-old, never nominated, never even got a record deal.  And all I had to do was spend 18 years tirelessly perfecting my craft.

SO YOU CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF, BIEBER!

Tell @UsherRaymondIV I say, "What up."

So let me get this straight: They asked 100 men "Name a part of your body that's bigger than it was when you were 16," and zero people answered "penis"?

I'm not sure if my penis is any bigger now than it was when I was 16; still, I thought "penis" at least three times before she even gave that answer.  Hell, I'm still thinking "penis" has to be the best answer.  It's just something about the way he asks it.

Regardless, my penis is definitely bigger than it was before I watched that video, because that video is HOT!

[via CollegeHumor]

Daniel helps the Cartwheeling Goalie master the art of distraction before taking on soccer/sports bra legend Brandi Chastain.

…you lose.