Tosh.0 Blog

What You're Missing On The Internet

Posted by: Sam Jarvis | July 12, 2013 at 4:30PM

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

[video via Unique Daily]

Move Over, Ryan Gosling

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 23, 2013 at 5:00PM

"Not to brag, but I have the perfect body for radio."

[via Imgur]

Nice Porn Stash

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | March 23, 2012 at 4:00PM

And so conveniently located.

[via Reddit]

Tags: 

bathroom

magazines

nsfw

porn

pornography

stash

toilet

Selena Gomez's Life Was, Like, Super Hard

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | August 15, 2011 at 2:00PM

You think dollar store spaghetti is bad, listen to this horror mentioned in the article:

"Sometimes Selena didn't even know if she would be able to get home from school. 'My mom would run out of gas all the time,' she says."

But these are the decisions you have to make when you live in "poverty."  Should I pay for my car insurance or should I pay for gas?  They're both very expensive, but they are two things you must have.

Life was equally terrible for her mom, Mandy:

"'I would get up at six in the morning, get Selena ready for school, drop her off, and then go to [my classes] from there.  We did that every day,' Mandy said."

Holy shit!  Every day.  Come on, school!  Why are you starting at a normal time like every other school??

Reading this story, you get the feeling that, at times, it almost seemed like Selena would never realize her dreams of dating Justin Bieber and vacationing in paradise.  Luckily, she persevered.

And luckily for us, we've learned two valuable lessons for success here: Never ride the bus and never sleep in on a workday.  Wisdom to live by, really.

Oh, and also don't forget, you too can eat spaghetti and make something out of your life.  Who'd have thought??

[via I Am Bored]

Wanna Buy Newsweek?

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | May 6, 2010 at 4:00PM

It was announced yesterday that Newsweek is being put up for sale.

The magazine has lost a lot of money over the past couple years as print magazines, like the dinosaurs, continue to be a bad way to make money.

Personally, I love magazines.  You can hold them.  You can roll them up and use them to kill insects.  They are a great source of paper cuts.

Thus, I have created a proposal to help save Newsweek.

Apparently, the people who tend to gravitate towards print publications are older people.  Problem is older people are more likely to die.  So, all you have to do is figure out a way to keep old people from dying, and — Cha-ching! — you're back in business.

Now go get started on that will ya?  You should have plenty of spare time now that no one cares about the editorial quality of your publication anyway.

In the meantime, I'm going to go through my change bucket to see if I can afford to make an offer to buy.  I've always wanted to be a publishing magnate!