I ordered a pizza?!??!
[via The Daily What]
Watch three different full episodes every Tuesday.
Has Daniel made it? You Decide!
See Daniel doing stand-up live on tour and be forever changed. Buy tickets now!
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Pot. More popular than church since 2011.
[via The DW]
I can't tell you how many times I've stared at an iPhone and thought, How can this technology help me get high?
Well, the makers of the Roll Your Own iPhone app apparently have our best interests in mind, creating a one stop shop for joint rolling.
All you do is place your iPhone on a flat surface, lay a rolling paper across the screen, toss some pot from your grinder on top and — voilŗ! — the app rolls a perfect joint for you every time!
Well, actually, Roll Your Own provides detailed instructions on how to roll joints.† However, if you take any app and try my technique and then just sit on your couch long enough, eventually someone will roll a joint for you.
Which is a hundred times better than watching some crazy "How To Roll a Joint" video.† I'm too stoned for that.
"Smoking marijuana cigarettes is bad for your health.† Smoking of any kind has been linked to a number of lung ailments.† The only safe way to smoke marijuana is via a water-based filtration system such as a bong, or, better yet, by using a vaporizer.† Therefore, here is $200 cash to purchase a double percolator water pipe or digital vaporizer of your choice." – Mom
Don't fear the follow up conversation.† It's just hard to fit all that on a rolling paper.
Remember when Snoop Dogg quit smoking pot to coach youth football?
Neither does Snoop.
Follow up question: Who do you think is higher, Snoop or that snowman?† Keep in mind that the snowman is so high he might not even realize he is a snowman.
[via The High Definite]
"Where are new episodes of Tosh.0?" annoying people would probably be asking me on the street if anyone actually recognized me or cared who I was.
Well, there are still 14 cities left on the Tosh Tour Twenty Ten!† You can't both tour the country and put on a weekly television show!† Tonight, Daniel is in Indianapolis.† Do you expect Daniel to record an episode of Tosh.0 from Indianapolis??† Do they even have green screen technology in Indianapolis??† Who knows??
But I do know this:
1) You can get your Tosh.0 fix tonight by watching four episodes of Tosh.0 from 8pm – 10pm ET during our Tuesday Tosh Block.
2) There is at least one man who is putting on new television tonight: Nick Swardson.† So get your new television fix by watching a show from a good friend of ours, Nick Swardson's Pretend Time.
Check out a preview clip from tonight's Nick Swardson's Pretend Time above, watch the Tuesday Tosh Block from 8pm – 10pm tonight, and then catch an all new episode of Nick Swardson's Pretend Time at 10pm/9c!
Ain't life grand!
(Oh, and P.S.† New episodes of Tosh.0 return on Tuesday, January 11th!)
First, I don't have to do anything because anyone is first!† I can choose whatever Fan Favorite video I want!
Second, you wrote "you're hot?" — with a question mark?† There is no question mark!† It should be, "You're hot!" — with a giant exclamation point!† Two even!!
Luckily, however, there weren't really any other suggestions, so, alas, Emily, here is your weed vs. salvia.† Congratulations!† It was a hard fought victory to be selected.
Though, technically, it's called "Celebrity Video – Tommy Chong vs. Salvia Eric," but for the third time, I'm letting you slide.† I expect many thanks.
Leave your suggestions for a favorite video in the comments!
Smack my tits and call me drums. It was Tommy Lee's 48th birthday yesterday and we did nothing to celebrate the momentous occasion here on the blog.
Talk about giant balls dropping the ball.
Obviously, a belated e-card just won't do.†So in an effort to makes things right, I dedicate this entire post to Tommy Lee in honor of his birthday. That puts him in the ranks with a drunk Welshman on a stallion, a homeless man with two Kermit hand puppets, and a bill signed by the governator.
He should feel very flattered. This is surely one of the more exciting things that has happened to the drummer of MŲtley CrŁe.
As of January, being caught with an ounce or less of†pot will result in a $100 fine and no jail time, thanks to a bill signed last week by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Most Californians have been mellowly rejoicing.
But not Randy Thomasson,†president of SaveCalifornia.com. He denounced the bill saying it invites youth to become addicted "because there's not much hassle and no public stigma and no rehab if they?re caught."
Governor Schwarzenegger (likely) replied, "Chill out, dickwad."
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