marriage

Jesus Fucking Christ, I Did Not Agree to This! by the Cat

[via Pleated Jeans]

It actually makes the wedding a lot cheaper.  Because no one shows up.  Because you are creepy.

[via Izismile]

Yesterday, a Seattle woman married a 107-year-old warehouse set for demolition.

Said the bride's proud parents, "You see how batshit crazy our daughter is.  The fact that anything would marry her, even without consent, seems like a miracle to us."

Poor people and people of color were seen shaking their heads and saying, "Fuckin' white bitches."

[via Nothing To Do With Arbroath / video via KOMO]

Taking stuffed animals on a date is a great way to stay a virgin whether you want to or not.

But it's especially effective if your stuffed animals sound like they drive a windowless van.

[via BuzzFeed]

Luckily the victim knew that Beyonce was "super preggers" or he might not still be alive today.

[story at Fox 8 Cleveland / via BuzzFeed]

You think that's bad…  He tweeted a photo of his wife's hymen.

[via I Am Bored]

Are you and your spouse miserably arguing over the TV remote every night? Have you given up on wearing anything besides sweatpants? Does the following conversation sound familiar?

"Whatever." "Whatever."

Then, boy, do I have an attorney for you! Better call Saul J. Michael Gallagher!

(That's my second Breaking Bad reference of the day. No shame.)

[via College Humor]

After the wedding I brought a bridesmaid back to my hotel room and totally scored… 62,000 points on level 3-6 of Angry Birds.

Then I used the iPad to access porn and masturbated.

Overall, a good wedding.  The cake was a little dry.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Because when you marry your cousin, you want people to KNOW you married your cousin.

[via Reddit]

Look. I'm like you. I want to make fun of these people.

But I'll tell you what, I'll take this humble couple with their "amazing," "perfect" wedding over some bridezilla whore any day.  I've been to a lot of weddings in my life and not once have I given a fuck about a flower arrangement.

As long as there's an open bar, your wedding scores an A+.  And judging by the look of the groom, this wedding had an open bar.

Plus, I've heard if you don't like your wife, Walmart has a great return policy.

[via Viral Viral Videos]