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Jesus Fucking Christ, I Did Not Agree to This! by the Cat
[via Pleated Jeans]
Yesterday, a Seattle woman married a 107-year-old warehouse set for demolition.
Said the bride's proud parents, "You see how batshit crazy our daughter is.† The fact that anything would marry her, even without consent, seems like a miracle to us."
Poor people and people of color were seen shaking their heads and saying, "Fuckin' white bitches."
The Royal Wedding looks bloody fun.
We received over a thousand comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!
After much deliberation, we picked the caption above from a comment left by†Phillip Barlow.
Thanks to everyone who submitted! Check back Monday at 4pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!
And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.
He's marrying her for her brains.† She has an entire freezer full at home.
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Jessica!† You had 120 characters left!
I'm assuming you were planning on using those characters to write "…if I were legally allowed to marry a television show."
Which you're not.† At least here in California.† I'm not sure what state you live in.† Maybe somewhere like Vermont that kind of stuff flies.
But married or not, you can still watch.† That's legal in all 50 states.† (For now.)
Catch an all new episode of Tosh.0 on Wednesday, February 24th at 10:30pm / 9:30c on Comedy Central!
Listen… ladies… if a guy needs to go through all the above to ask you to marry him, you are definitely too good for him.
Plus, it's a cool looking project, dude, but seriously?† You're so insecure that you need to make this gigantic gesture to propose to your girlfriend, but then you are so self-important you want the whole world to see your work so you spread the video across the Internet??
You need to figure out where your esteem is at, buddy!
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