massage

Some say his hair's half empty. I say it's half full.

[via Izismile]

Watch it, Jeremy. "Sensitive Nips" is an excellent name.

Leave your suggestion for next week's Fan Favorite video in the comments! 

You can only ignore the elephant in the room for so long.

[via izismile]

Not every Transformer turns into something cool.

[via The Chive]

Screw online dating.  All you need is a chalkboard, that magic touch and a loose definition of "age of consent."

[via I Am Bored]

The only "happy ending" you'll be receiving is making it out of the van alive.

[via Reddit]

Redditor sweetcorny explains, "This was a REAL ad that ran in a neighborhood newspaper owned by my previous employer. The guy who last edited the ad…got canned but swore he didn't do it.  Lesson: never leave your computer unattended."

So the ad really ran, but it was never a "real" coupon.

And I think that's for the best.

I've regularly tried to pay prostitutes in coupons and they do not like it — no matter how much I point out that each one is worth of 1/100th of a cent.

Greedy prostitutes.

[via Reddit]

Your weekly guide to the source material used in this week's episode of Tosh.0.

• Wii Fat
• Elephant Massage (above)
• Swing of Death
• Alone in the DC Metro
• Impaled Through the Face
• Video Breakdown raw clip: Little Girl Plays with Dead Squirrel
• Police Door Opening Fail
• Web Redemption raw clip: Boom Goes the Dynamite
  
• Suicide Prank
• Mouth Exercise Lady

If you're one of those people who only takes parenting advice from offensive linemen, then you're in luck! Because Jeff Criswell of the Kansas City Chiefs will now show you how to massage your infant.

Here we were thinking Joe Montana's Shape-Ups commercial was bad.

[via FFF]

I've been getting a lot of requests from you guys asking for a video of a woman petting her cat. I don't know why. Just when I think I've got the blog audience all figured out, you throw me a curveball.

However, your motivations make no difference. Because I've found one! Not only is this woman petting her cat, she's massaging it. And giving instructions on how you can massage your cat, too.

You're welcome, you weirdos.

[via FFF]