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"Less time getting ridden by spoiled kids! More hay for everyone! Lower barn taxes!!"

[via Ratsoff]

There are "book" smarts and then there are "knowin yous ugly" smarts.

[via s3a-hippi3]

I partied once.  Wasn't as good as everyone says it is.

[via Epiclol]

What every girl needs from a man is honesty, commitment, and a willingness to squeeze her titties.

Two outta three ain't bad.

[via Videogum]

The image to the right has been making the rounds on the Internet.

People think there is something bizarre about responding to a conversation with the simple response of "Penis."

But is this really that exciting?  I have a friend Mark who used to do this all the time.  In fact, his response of "Penis" was so common, I actually emailed to ask him if this screengrab was from him.

His response:

"I have done that so many times I can not remember if that is one of mine or not. You have been penis'd!"

See?  This is old hat.  He even has a phrase describing the act: "being penis'd."

If you've never had someone reply to you in a conversation by simply saying "Penis", you obviously haven't had enough conversations!

[originally via Reddit]