metal

The good news is your baby has stopped crying.

The bad news is your baby is the antichrist.

(The other good news is I finally beat Carly to a baby video.)

[via The Daily What]

"With metal, anything is possible." -Abraham Lincoln*

*Not actual Abraham Lincoln quote

[via College Humor]

What's not to love?

He's a rooster.  He apparently fronts his own death metal project.  That's about it.

In the notes for the video, it says:

"The music is an original composition for this video by Ewan Parry (a.k.a liquidcow) of the band Talanas: myspace.com/talana."

Now, I've never heard of Talanas, but that's not very surprising: I don't listen to much death metal.  I barely even listen to much non-death metal.  Mountain is about as hard as I rock.

But additionally, some quick research shows the band doesn't have an AllMusic page, doesn't have a Wikipedia page; I couldn't find their music on iTunes.  There's probably some big death metal underground where Talanas tapes are traded like wine, but the general populous certainly doesn't seem aware of this.

Therefore, without demeaning the music and accomplishments of Talanas, at this point in their career, it appears Death Metal Rooster may be the biggest project they have ever been associated with.

Which is why Talanas could also make the claim that they might be the most awesome band in history.

[via Videogum]

Did you know that if you slow down a water balloon popping, you can see the water hold in the shape of the balloon for a moment? Crazy huh?

Did you know that if you slow down a golfball being hit, you can see it compress to like 3/4 the size?

How 'bout this one? Did you know that if you slow down a metalhead freak flipping his dreadlocks, absolutely nothing interesting happens?

You're missing the point of slow-motion. It's supposed to be so I can see something I didn't the first time — maybe the momentary look of terror on your face as you get owned in a mosh pit. I see no such enjoyment factor in your attempt at the slow-mo hair moves of a L'Oreal Paris commercial. (Though, I quite liked the Trampled Cheerleader's crack at it at the end of her web redemption.)

This video is also accompanied by the dude's song "Rag Tag Flag." I can understand why he'd use this tactic to promote it. "Freak On a Leash" proved that heavey metal plus a slow-motion video is a winning combination… if you want to be on TRL in the 90s and then never heard from ever again.

You didn't wake up early for this, but you probably would have if you knew what you were about to see.

Uncle Kurt?!
I knew you guys all got together at Downing's every Friday to talk about possibly purchasing and riding sweet ass hogs after you could retire from your graveyard shifts at the plant, but I had no idea you started a band together- let alone a band that played zombie music. Kickass.
Props to "Cool Bob" and his awesome animation skills. Looks like that course at the community college paid off afterall. Can I get your autographs before you make the bigtime?
Solid! Uncle Kurt, you're the coolest.
Also, can I have that $35 you borrowed from me when I was seven back? Thanks.

[via ThisIsFreakingRidiculous]