Michael

Great, now I'm searching the internet for a black Michael Jackson shaved into a white guy's head.

[via The Chive]

I'd like to think that somewhere out there, they're riding bikes together over the moon at this very moment.

[via Ugliest Tattoos]

Buzzfeed just introduced me to NameMapper — a cool feature on the website BabyNameWizard.com that allows people to see the popularity of baby names by state throughout all of time (or at least back to the early '60s).

Above is the map for the name "Michael" (my full birth name) for the year I was born (1979) focusing on the state I was born in (Missouri).

What we discover here is, despite what my parents told me throughout my childhood, I was, indeed, not special (thus explaining how I've ended up working for the Tosh.0 blog).

In fact, "Michael" was the most popular name in all of Missouri that year.

Now, I know what you're thinking: But Michael Jackson's breakthrough album Off the Wall wasn't released until August of 1979 — months after I was born!  So that doesn't explain anything.

I guess my parents just wanted me to live a life of spirit crushing anonymity and conformity.  Either that, or they just stole the name off the crib next to me.

What's your name say about you?