mom

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Amanda Bynes got arrested for throwing a bong out her window. Also, looks like a crackhead. 
• A kid was KO'd by a Disney dancer. Just another day at the happiest place on earth.
• Rappers doing amazing things, like making nachos.
• Seth Rogan shows us how to roll a cross joint. Psh as if I don't already know.
• Chicks without bras on! Somebody turn up the AC.
• RentAGrandma is a site where you can rent a grandma.
• This girl is really good at the guitar and should probably drop out of school to be a rockstar.
• Creative ways to open a beer compilation. Bottle openers are efficient but BORING.
• Speaking of beer, Hanson launched a beer called MmmHops. Title perfection.
• A mom called the cops on her son because he stole her Poptarts. They're a hot commodity, if you toast them.
• How to travel is basically how to get away with shit at hotels.
• And here's Rihanna's ass in some kind of denim thong because why the hell not.

[photo via NY Daily News]

Also: Thank her for aborting the other ones when she was in high school.

[via Izismile]

Yes, it's almost here: Mother's Day. Are you tired of pandering to your poor old mom with gifts she'll actually like?Flowers? Gift cards? Jewelry? Snoozefest 5000! Why not get her a gift that says how you really feel? You know, like "Fuck you for putting me on this terrible planet," or "I hate student loans and I hate you, you old hag!"

That's why we've compiled a list of 10 awful Mother's Day presents that will make her cross her legs and yearn for a retroactive abortion. Gifts like "Bacon Candle" (above) and "Back Hair Shaver" (below.)

Click below for more truly terrible Mother's Day gift ideas!

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Woman who flipped off Noah may or may not have killed her husband. What a bad ass bitch. 
• Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend made Maxim's Hot 100. Sexiest pile of air ever.
• Here's Quentin Tortellini. Yeah THAT JUST HAPPENED.
• Women's POV is basically lots of titties. Who's excited for summer Instagrams?!
• 24 Facebook fails. Is "everyone who shares their political beliefs in their status" on there?
• Moms eat for free at Hooter's on Mother's Day. 'Cause why spend money on her, ya know?
• CNN anchors talk via satellite in the same parking lot. Busted.
• 105-year-old woman thinks she's alive because of bacon. Don't let me live to 100. It looks really scary.
• An owl loves a dog. Also that owl is fucking HUGE.
• And a mom went to WebMD instead of the hospital after her son got shot. Symptoms point to the flu.

[photo via WPBF]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0

Hey, she didn't ask to be Jewish.

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0

Just be glad she's finally learning about her body.

You've reached a new low when you're about to beat your child with a hot dog.

[via The Chive]

So with a flick of my magic blogging wand…

"Try all you want, Ma. This cruise sucks and I'll probably never smile again."

And don't forget to check out the other people who deserve fame!

[via Videogum]

Comes in larger sizes for when he hits 30.

[via Poorly Dressed]

Usually their dog skateboards behind them.

[via Izismile]