monkey

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Juggalos Of OKCupid is exactly what you think it is. 
• A woman won the powerball lottery! An hour too late. Those two sentences are quite literally lines from Alanis Morisette's Ironic.
• Here's a painful nutshot compilation because you people love that shit.
• Tan Mom has a music video. Everyone should remember what she's famous for.
• Girls arching their backs is bonercity.
• This is a quality mugshot roundup. Did somebody say new profile pics?!
• A monkey taking a bath! Seriously guys it's little and in the sink.
• Daft Punk's Get Lucky eye popping out dance. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. EVEN IF YOU CAN.
• A man wants to videotape ghosts in his house, catches his girlfriend banging his son. He'll be haunted by it forever.
• Teen invents a device that charges your iPhone in seconds. I spent my youth copying math homework.
• 10 crazy disguises people have tried to use. Close, but no cigar.
• And it's Mr. T's birthday so, wish him a good one.

[photo via Juggalos of OKCupid]

Fun Fact: this is also how Lindsay Lohan attracts potential mates.

[via Uber Humor]

I am fairly confident that this is the best Australian Souvlaki Restaurant TV Commercial Featuring A Guitar-Playing CGI chimp you'll see all day.

[via CollegeHumor]

Here are all of the clips from tonight's episode that are available on our site:

• This week's Web Redemption was the Fat Bottle Ninja (above)
• A cheerleader fell on her face
• A monkey got a workout
• Two dudes got on their knees in this week's Video Breakdown
• We learned how to sing with Ken's vocal training
• And Daniel showed you how to follow him on Instagram.

Turns out telling people to fuck off goes back to our oldest genetic ancestors.

[via Daily Picks and Flicks]

Last Thursday, we showed you "Chimpanzee Wants to Destroy Baby" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "Chimpanzee Wants to Destroy Baby."  Can you blame the chimp?  Babies are awful.

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote was Tyler Deitz with his title, "Canadian air force hard at work…."  It's funny because Canada is America's hat.  Hat.  Congratulations, Tyler!

Soon our heads will be helmets. It's called "adapting".

[via imgur]

Today we are all this capybara. And Monday is the monkey.

Monday taunts us all weekend long. We just sit there and take it, knowing fully well that eventually it will get close enough to punch us in the face.

And after that, Monday will kick us in the eye. Then walk all over us on its way out.

"At least Monday didn't throw his poo," we'll say, staring at our cubicle wall.

[via Super Punch]

The description for this video says "monkey unlocks and sends text message on an iPhone". But it looks more like the monkey is "just slapping his dirty little monkey hands all over an iPhone".

Doesn't he know iPhones fingerprint easily?? Probably not! Because he's a monkey and he doesn't even know how to unlock it!

More like Rise of the Planet of the Humans. (Still starring James Franco, obviously.)

[via BWE]