never say never

My Size Pop Star Justin Bieber is expanding his ever-growing empire with a new fragrance!

It's called Someday and if you buy it, Biebs will give you a very awkward piggyback ride through the sun-drenched clouds and then back to your bedroom where he will immediately sit you down so as not to appear shorter than you.

Never say purple shoes.

[via Vulture]

I don't care if you are cover-of-Playboy hot, there are some things I will not do to get laid.

[via BuzzFeed]

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Daily Show?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Daily Show is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because we're all owned by the same parent company so we could force Jon Stewart to do it.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[Previously: The Situation + Justin Bieber]

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Jersey Shore?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Jersey Shore is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because I have The Situation's agent on the phone and he'll do it. He'll do anything.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[via Gawker]

"Never Say Never" might have a Justin Bieber Segway scene. And it might have footage of Biebs in a shower with another dude. But it doesn't have an overdramatic backstory told between poor resolution home video clips from Justin's childhood.

Er. Well, this time, the truth ain't so pretty.

"8 Kilometers: The Gritty Life Story of Justin Bieber". Every moment is another chance, eh?

[babelgum via thd]

There were quite a few things I was hoping to see in the preview for Never Say Never, Justin Bieber's 3-D biopic being released in February.

I made a list:

A baby Bieber playing a kitchen chair, dramatic concert footage, extremely overzealous fans, Jaden Smith, Justin on a Segway, footage of Bieber in the shower with another male, Usher, and an inspiring Bieber speech that ties in the title.

Let me just say, I am more than pleased right now. I never believed that much awesome could actually fit into one preview. Lesson learned. Never say never.

[via Videogum]