new

In the words of Scrooge McDuck, "Welfare is a scam, quack quack." If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes that are on our site RIGHT NOW
• Check out our playlist of videos that took a turn for the worse
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

And then we go on summer break. Hope you been workin' on your beach bods, you disgusting animals!

A wise man once said, "Shoot for the moon. If you miss, then just kill yourself." If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes that are on our site RIGHT NOW
• Check out our playlist of videos that took a turn for the worse
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

More new episodes of Tosh.0 continue next Tuesday! Now go fiddle with your dinguses.

In the words of Leonard Nimoy: "Hey, look, I'm Mr. Spock. A-duuurrr!" If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes that are on our site RIGHT NOW
• Check out our playlist of videos that took a turn for the worse
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

More new episodes of Tosh.0 continue next Tuesday! Until then, go join a gym; we can all see your moobs.

I just found some old rice in my naval. If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes that are on our site RIGHT NOW.
• Check out our playlist of videos that took a turn for the worse
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

More new episodes of Tosh.0 continue next Tuesday! Until then, what's in YOUR naval?

Here are all of the clips from tonight's episode that are available on our site:

• This week's Web Redemption was Hey Baby Girl (above)
• A seahorse gave birth
• A little girl pooped down the slide
• We put 20 Seconds on the Clock for some fat soccer skills
• The worst rescue team ever flailed around in this week's Video Breakdown
• Daniel looked back on some "What's Your Name?" submissions
• And Daniel discussed segregated proms.

What's up, Jews? If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes from season 4, each featuring a hopeless romantic.
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

More new episodes of Tosh.0 continue next Tuesday! I'm going to go consensually fist a stranger.

I believe it was Gandhi who once said "Duhhh. Hi. I'm Gandhi!" If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes from season 5
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

More new episodes of Tosh.0 continue next Tuesday! Let that thought give meaning to your otherwise hollow husk of an existence!

You're not you when you're horny.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Keith Tsuji/Stringer/Getty Images]

Is it just me or is this shit getting REALLY good? "Why is it that the good die young and the bad die old?" Jesus Christ that's deep.

For something more whimsical please enjoy Me and Daniel Tosh. I recommend watching it 3-5 times in a row.

[via Videogum]

They say if you hold a seashell to your ear, you can hear your parents divorcing. If you're looking for clips from tonight's show, you'll have to wait until after the episode has aired across the entire country. Check back here after 10:30 Pacific Time.

But there's plenty of stuff to do while you wait…

• Watch three full episodes from season 4
• Snag yourself some Tosh DVDs and Blu-rays, now up to 46% off
• Buy high quality Tosh Ts in the Tosh.0 store
• See classic Tosh.0 clips on our video page
• Or scroll down to read the rest of our daily blog

More new episodes of Tosh.0 continue next Tuesday! On the Jewish calendar that's known as "Tuesday."