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FREE BANANA MAN!!! FREE BANANA MAN!!!

There are so many things I enjoy about this news story. The pictures of hot women on Bryan's wall, the reporter who goes balls to the wall and wears a grape suit, and, of course, the "free the banana man" t-shirts.

Hopefully reporter Pat Collins starts his own high school where students are allowed to wear fruit costumes without fear of suspension. I would send my 14 year-old brother there. Because if there's one thing I want him to learn at an early age, it's that there's nothing wrong with FRUIT SALAD!

[via The DW]

"Thought my neighbor's obese husband was laughing really hard at Roseanne reruns." -Donkey

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At least he died doing what he loved… getting shot.

[via I Am Bored]

Not as bad for him as for the people who were told they still had five minutes to get out of the building.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

"Then if the painting doesn't sell again, I add a cat riding chandelier. And if the painting still doesn't sell, I give the cats handlebar mustaches. And that usually does the trick."

[via Blame It On The Voices]

This is why you should always be playing reruns of Tosh.0 on your television. IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LAUGH.

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The good news is even if he loses his job as a teacher, he's already been hired to write for a new sitcom on ABC.

[via Izismile]

Is his memoir a tutorial on how to be awesome? Because if so, he can stop this promo tour now. We're all sold.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

At least he didn't live through that. Imagine how messed up he'd be.

[via imgur]

3. Grassroots Efforts Afoot To Move "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" To Pakistan

[Buzzfeed via IMNS]