newspaper

Is it hot out here or is it just me? Because I'm standing over a giant charcoal grill.

[via reddit]

Ask me again after they find that rapist.

[via I Am Bored]

Also, the economy is like your mom — it's f***ed the entire country.

[via TDW]

Now that is some hard hitting news! Get it? They really knocked that news blurb out of the park! You guys get it? What were those two? Cursed by the Bambino?!?

No? Okay. I'll stop.

Turns out the whole town was pretty SAFE.

[via The Clearly Dope]

But if you can't afford Shreddies, you could always just close your legs.

[via The HD]

Newspaper editors, on other hand, are quite awesome.

[via imgur]

"Well, if he didn't become friends with that damn bear then I would have taken him in a more reasonable manner!" -Death

[MSNBC via FilmDrunk]

I think the answer you're searching for is 'duh'.

And you thought it was bad that time the hairdresser cut your sideburns too short! Next time you're whining about anything just remember, you could be in Russia.

In other news, swimming in shark-infested waters with a bloody leg puts you at greater risk of being bitten by a shark on the leg.

[via Miss Cellania]

Dear Everybody,

Don't die on Friday, mk?

Just that one day. Thanks so much. You guys are great.

All The Best,

Road Safety Foundation