nike

Somewhere there is a room of Nike marketing executives giving each other the whitest high fives.

[via Look At This F*cking Person]

And by "it" we mean "wait until college to touch a breast."

[via Acid Cow]

The Internet is buzzing about the video above called "McFly's Closet."

Supposedly, it's a prelude to an announcement that Nike will soon be releasing the Nike Air Mag, the futuristic self-lacing shoes featured in Back to the Future Part II.

If the rumors are true, the timing is perfect: All the kids who grew up watching that movie are now at the age where they have decent paying jobs, meaning they finally have disposable income to waste on garish nostalgia-inspiring shoes!

We don't need self-lacing shoes, people.  What we need from the Back to the Future movies is a time machine.  So we can go back in time and tell them not to make two terrible sequels to the movie Back to the Future.

[via Best Week Ever]

Look, kid.  Yes, we all do this when we get a new pair of Nikes, but there's an unspoken rule that you never post the photo on the Internet!

Didn't your dad teach you anything??  You must have gotten those shoes from your mother.

[via it Make no Sense]

The Masters starts today, marking the first time Tiger Woods will be playing professional golf since his whole loving-strippers-and-porn-stars "scandal."  I put the word "scandal" in quotes because I still don't see what is scandalous about loving strippers and porn stars.  Everyone loves strippers and porn stars!  They are there to be loved!

But Tiger teed off about 18 minutes ago and so far he's off to a good start!  (I have no way of knowing if this is true.  I write my posts way in advance.  I'm just going to assume he's off to a good start because he is Tiger f'in' Woods.)

Also off to a good start: The milking of Tiger's shame for corporate advertising!

Above is the first "post-scandal" TV spot featuring Tiger Woods.  No surprise that Nike is the first to re-embrace the star being that they are no strangers to moving forward after scandal.  (Cough!  Cambodian child slaves!!  Cough!)

You could say the people at Nike are "The Masters" of moving on from scandal.

What?  I already used that pun in the title??  F U, jerks!!!!

[via The Daily What]

When I was a kid, all we wanted was shoes where we could pump, pump, pump it up.  Reebok Pumps didn't actually make you more athletic, but they did increase your odds of getting robbed for your shoes, which added that air of danger to you that women love.

Now, shoes do all sorts of crazy things.  According to Geekosystem, "Nike Zoom Vomero+ 4 (above)…can automatically make Facebook updates and Tweet your status out.  It even has its own social network."

That's just what I need: My shoes socializing with other shoes online.  I know how big of a pain it can be to get me off my computer.  God forbid I have to yell at my shoes to sign out of Lacebook anytime I want to go for a walk.

Oh, you think that Lacebook joke is lame?!  You know what's even lamer?  Me having to see your Twitter status as "Getting a KILLER WORKOUT in my new NIKE ZOOM VOMERO+ 4. Check out the Nike website: http://bit.ly/CoiJt. JUST DO IT!"

Why would the Nike Zoom Vomero+ 4 use Bit.ly to unnecessarily shorten http://nike.com?  Because shoes aren't that smart, that's why!

[via Bits & Pieces]

Nike didn't want you to see this, but since Tosh.0 has much more power and influence, we've decided to post it.

All you need to know is that LeBron got dunked on at a basketball camp and the video has been kept well under wraps by the Nike CIA until now. Daniel explained it last episode.

[via TMZ]

This past week, the sports world was abuzz over a video of  Xavier's Jordan Crawford dunking on LeBron James during a game at his summer basketball camp.  The tapes were confiscated by James and sponsor Nike to prevent it from getting out and embarrassing the NBA superstar.

Well, Daniel had his own run in with LeBron and we're making sure this tape gets out!  See it below!